Seven Years
by DuskitMermaid
Summary: A chapter for each year Lily and James spend at Hogwarts. Just something short and sweet I wanted to get up while I wrote something else for the two of them.
1. First Year

**Hi! This is just a really quick story that I'm posting to make up for how long I've been away. Sorry to all of the people that have sent me messages asking if I was still alive. I'm fine, I promise.**

**Okey dokey lokey, so I thought I would write a Harry Potter story! Yay! Harry Potter is my very favourite series in the whole world, and I've always wanted to do something with Lily and James. I intend to write a better story between the two of them that has been brewing in my head for a couple of years really soon, but for now this is what I have.**

**Each chapter will be a year of Lily's life at Hogwarts, beginning at first and ending at seventh.**

**I didn't check it, I didn't spend more than half an hour on it and I don't want to waste time making it perfect, again, it's just a little something to let you guys know I still exist. :) Still, I hope everyone enjoys it!**

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><p><strong>Chapter One;<strong>

Lily takes a breath that seems to fill her all the way to her toes and looks up at the huge scarlet steam engine in front of her. It's all extremely overwhelming, and she's trying not to go over the edge like her family behind her.

"You'd better hurry up." her father says, checking his watch. She turns from the train and is enveloped in her parent's arms once more, her mother giving her a kiss on the top of her head.

"We're so proud of you." she says, bending down to speak to her daughter. Lily doesn't miss her older sister's annoyed look from the corner of her eye. "And we'll miss you so much."

"You'll see me in a few months." Lily promises. They'd agreed that she stay at home every Christmas, seeing as she'd be away for most of the year.

"We'll see you then." her father says, letting her go. She turns to her sister and opens her arms hopefully. Petunia looks down at her younger sibling for a moment, then wraps one arm around her shoulders, her pointed nose hovering in the air above Lily's auburn locks as if she smells something she doesn't wish to. Lily is surprised at the gesture, since her sister hasn't been her normal self for a few weeks now, and although she can tell her sister doesn't mean anything by the hug she's glad it happens. She doesn't want to leave them without making up with Petunia in any way.

The families surrounding them begin saying their goodbyes louder and more rushed as the train sounds its departure. Lily looks around, nervous butterflies in her stomach, and grabs her luggage as best she can. It's not easy; she's tiny for her age and her bags are as full as she could get them and she struggles under the weight. She doesn't know how she's going to get them onto the train, and begins to freak out as someone clears their throat behind her.

Here she is, a girl without any magic relatives, standing by a train she didn't know existed a couple of months ago and she's holding up the rest of the students trying to get on the train. Should she try lifting her bag and risk falling forward, onto the tracks? Before she can do anything to risk her life a pair of hands grabs her bags and lifts them onto the train for her.

She climbs on after them and takes their handles, turning to thank the person who had helped her out. He's taller than she is, even with her standing on the train in front of him. He's lanky and has just about the messiest hair she thinks she's ever seen. His hazel eyes smile behind his glasses as she thanks him and turns around to find a compartment, unsure of what to say next.

Lily walks up and down the corridor of the train, and by the time she has reached the end again there is only one compartment left with seats in it. Funnily enough, one of the two people sitting in it is the boy who had helped her with her bags. She slides open the door and the boys, who are laughing and talking loudly stop to look at her. The boy with the glasses sits up straighter and grins, and his friend is unaware of this, so nothing is said to Lily, who sits herself as close to the window as she can get, resting her forehead on the cold glass. All of a sudden, everything crashes down on her and tears start to leak out of her eyes before she has a choice. She is going somewhere she doesn't have the faintest idea about. She doesn't have any friends in the world she's only recently entered. The closest person in the world to her, Tuney, doesn't care about her anymore. She thinks back to the day she'd first been told she was a witch and wishes for a fleeting moment it had never happened. She'd been perfectly happy in the Muggle world. Now she is confused and scared and overwhelmed and completely alone.

The boys in the compartment with her have picked up their conversation again and are speaking and laughing so loudly that she hardly hears the door when it slides open again. She doesn't bother turning around to see who it is, but can't help recognising the boy who sits across from her. She glances at him, and then looks out the window before he can say anything to her. The other boys' conversation falters, but they pick it up again immediately.

Lily hopes Severus can't tell she'd been crying, even though she can still feel the tear tracks that have run down her face, and opens her mouth. "I don't want to talk to you," she says, then rolls her eyes internally. Her voice is constricted and she knows he can tell how upset she is because of it.

"Why not?" apparently this is not what he had been expecting.

Lily gives up trying not to show her emotions and turns back to him. "Tuney h-hates me. Because we saw that letter from Dumbledore."

He frowns. "So what?"

She gives him the filthiest look she can manage. "So she's my sister!"

"She's only a -" he stops his sentence immediately, and Lily doesn't notice, trying her hardest to remove the tears from her face.

"But we're going!" he says, looking excited. "This is it! We're off to Hogwarts!"

Lily nods, still wiping her eyes, and can't help but give him a tiny smile.

"You'd better be in Slytherin," Severus tells her, glad she has at last showed a little happiness toward him.

"Slytherin?" the boys finally react to their two companions being there and Lily glances at the boy beside her, the one who helped her with her bags. "Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?"

His friend across from him, beside Severus, doesn't smile. "My whole family have been in Slytherin,"

The other boy seems shocked. "Blimey! And I thought you seemed alright!" Lily clamps her mouth shut, and finds this all completely unnecessary. She was guessing these were the houses of Hogwarts she'd heard a little about. What did it matter what house they got into? It doesn't seem right to tear Severus down because of what he'd said. Especially when they don't know him.

"Maybe I'll break the tradition." the other boy says with a grin. "Where are you heading, if you've got the choice?"

The first boy raises his arm strangely, as if holding something. "_'Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!' _Like my dad."

Severus gives a quiet snort, and the boy turns to him "Got a problem with that?"

"No," says Severus, but Lily is sure his sneer is purposely telling he does. "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy -"

"Where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?" the boy lounging on the opposite side asks.

The boy with the glasses begins laughing loudly and Lily sits up quickly, getting angrier by the second. Maybe she is still a little angry at Severus, but he is all she has in this strange new world, and she isn't going to sit around and watch two nobodies make fun of him.

"Come on, Severus, let's find another compartment."

The two boys rather rudely imitate her voice as she passes out of the carriage. "Oooooo..." the boy with the glasses puts his foot out to trip Severus as he passes.

"See ya, Snivellus!" one of them calls out as Severus slams the compartment door behind them. Lily decides not to say anything about the rude boys behind them and she and Snape are invited to sit with a small group of girls by two named Lyla and Scarlet, who are both brunette and seem to be a lot nicer than the people Lily has met previously.

The rest of the train ride is spent with Lily being more silent than usual, as she takes in everything she can learn about Hogwarts. When the train stops all of the students climb off and the first years are called to a giant man with a huge beard. He smiles down at Lily and helps her find a boat, and she thanks him quietly, because, if she's being honest, she's quite terrified of his appearance.

She is in a small boat with Sevurus, Lyla, Scarlet and another girl from the compartment she had spend most of the train ride in. There are huge butterflies in her stomach all the way across the lake, until they arrive at a magnificent castle and trod inside in a tight, terrified group.

After meeting with a strict looking woman and being walked into a huge hall with the most amazing ceiling Lily could ever imagine, the first years are standing with shaking knees in front of a silent hall as one by one, they get sorted into the four houses.

The shaggy haired boy with the Slytherin family from Lily's boat, who is named Sirius Black, is sorted into Gryffindor, and he seems happy about the fact as one of the tables claps loudly. Lyla from the train is also sorted into Gryffindor, and her mouth twists at the fact that it wasn't Ravenclaw. Scarlet is placed into Ravenclaw, and then Lily's name is being called out and she shakily walks to the front of the hall. The hat is placed on the top of her head and instead of hearing the word 'Slytherin,' like she'd been hoping, she hears 'Gryffindor'. She hurries to the table, looking over her shoulder to give Severus a sad smile and takes a seat beside Sirius Black, who politely makes room for her to sit. She sits beside him, but far enough away to turn away from him and fold her arms across her chest. Lyla grins at her from the other side of the table, looking a little happier than she had moments before, and she tries to look like she's not being as stubborn and horrible as she suddenly feels.

The boy with the glasses gets sorted into Gryffindor and squeezes in between Lily and Sirius Black, high fiving the latter with a grin.

"I knew it." he said quietly.

There is a magnificent feast and Lily is so excited she can't keep her eyes still for a second. Not only is there a night sky visible and floating candles and unbelievable good food and odd looking people around her, but there are ghosts and things students are making float around and change colour and transform into different shapes. She attempts to make conversation with Lyla across from her, but the boys beside her are joking loudly with another who had been sorted into Gryffindor just after Lily. This boy had light brown hair and a kind face, and wasn't messing around or being as loud as his new friends. Lily learned in ten minutes that his name was Remus Lupin and the boy with the glasses was James Potter.

After the feast the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, stands to make a speech. He is a strange man, and Lily wonders if half of his words are jokes or not. Nevertheless, she likes him immediately and admires him as he performs small magic tricks infront of them all that don't seem to amaze too many of the other students.

The hall empties a short while later and the first year Gryffindor students walk in a group to their headquarters, following their Head Boy and Girl. Lily doubts she'll ever be able to make her own way there; there are too many twists and turns for her to wrap her red head around, and the staircases _move_, as if it wasn't difficult enough to begin with.

The Gryffindor common room is absolutely magnificent and decorated almost completely in the colours red and gold. Most of the older students sit around in front of the fire for a while, playing some games Lily has no idea about and others that remind her of Muggle games, with slight differences. Almost all of the first years make their way up the stairs to find their rooms, and Lily does the same. She wants to stay awake forever to explore her new world, but her eyes won't let her and she can't stop yawning.

Somehow, her bags had found their way to the room she was staying in. Lyla takes the bed closest to her own and they introduce themselves to the three other girls in their dormitory. They all seem very nice, and Lily is glad she has met some friends on her first night. Lyla is a pure-blood, and doesn't mind at all when Lily asks her questions that must seem especially dim-witted.

Her bed is very comfortable, and she doesn't think she'll ever be able to get to sleep with the flurry her head is in. But her eyes are only open for a couple of minutes longer before they close and do not open again until morning.

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><p>It is November, and Lily has become accustomed to her new life as a witch. She studies harder than any of her peers, and her marks definitely show it. She has four best girl friends; Lyla, Scarlet, despite her being in Ravenclaw, and two girls named Alice Prewett and Mary Macdonald, who sleep in the other beds in Lyla and Lily's dormitory. Severus is still her number one best friend, but they'd slowly drifted apart since arriving at Hogwarts. They still talk, but only for short amounts of time every now and then. And usually it was in a place where there weren't many people around, like the library.<p>

Lily is slowly beginning to understand why there were so many people that held grudges against Slytherin house. She hasn't met anyone from Slytherin but Severus who treats her like she is a person, and she can't really wrap her head around that. Lyla says it is because they are all too full of themselves to realise Muggle-borns deserve just as much respect as they give themselves, and she had overheard Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and James Potter calling them words she would rather not repeat one night in the Gryffindor common room before going to bed.

Remus Lupin is also beginning to make his way into her life. He had been paired with her in their charms class and seems to be the only other first-year Gryffindor who takes his classes seriously enough to finish all of the the work they are set this far into the year. She likes the fact that he isn't as loud as his best friends, and has discovered that he is as easy to talk to as Severus, though she would prefer the latter any day.

Lily, Lyla, Mary and Alice are making their way toward the Great Hall for lunch from Transfiguration. They left later than the rest of their class because Lily had stayed behind to ask Professor McGonagall a couple of questions about their homework. They are walking through a part of the castle that is usually deserted, so are surprised when they see quite a large group of people assembled infront of them.

"Bit of a traitor really, aren't you?" a Slytherin girl screeches at Sirius Black and her wild hair shakes with her head. "Completely forgot about your family and chose this scum." she snorts in disgust toward the few Gryffindors behind Sirius. Behind herself, there are more than ten Slytherins. Severus is among them, and Lily wants to walk over and talk to him, but is a little scared about what is happening. She doesn't want to get in the middle of this.

"I don't see why it matters really, Bellatrix, seeing as the family always had so much more time for little Regulus over me." Sirius says in a voice that just sounds a little bored.

Bellatrix keeps on at him and he argues back, James Potter sometimes putting a word in for him. Lily's eyes meet Severus', and the look from his tells her that this is what should be happening - Gryffindors and Slytherins weren't supposed to get along. This is nothing knew.

"That's Sirius's cousin, I think." Alice whispers to her friends. Alice seems to know everything about everyone under the castle's roof, so neither of them question her. "She's two years older than us. Bellatrix Black. Apparently she's one of those pure-blood crazed witches." she rolls her eyes and Lily can't help feeling a little down. She isn't used to being Muggle-born around all of her friends yet. There aren't all that many Muggle-borns in the year, and she feels left out because her pure-blood and half-blood friends know so much more about magic than she thinks she ever will.

"That's right, Sirius, just go crawling back to all your Mudblood friends." Bellatrix calls tauntingly after Sirius as he turns and leaves, after much convincing from Remus. Most of the Slytherins laugh, except for Severus, whose eyes meet Lily's again. Remus also turns toward Lily, but realises in time that Sirius and James are about to turn back to Bellatrix and stops them before they can do anything stupid. Lyla and Alice just gasp at the word, and Lily is left clueless as to what is happening. She has heard the word used by Slytherins quietly before, but she hasn't really thought about what it meant.

Lyla's arm wraps around Lily's shoulders and she steers her toward the Hall after the boys again before Lily has the chance to ask about it. When she finally does, her friends are silent.

"It's just a filthy, disgusting word that Slytherins, in particular, think they can use to make themselves feel higher and mighter." Lyla says finally with disgust plain in her voice.

"Don't think about it, though, Lily. No one tolerates that anymore. They'd have a hundred points taken straight from Slytherin if any of the teachers heard them say it." Alice assures her.

"But it's me, isn't it?" Lily asks, still on the subject, much to her friends' dislike. "Mudblood...like...contaminated blood. I'm not a pure-blood like them. It's an offensive term for Muggle-born."

"Yes." Alice agrees, unable to steer herself out of this one. "But the people that use words like that don't deserve to have your time wasted on them. Don't worry about it."

But Lily can't help but worry about it. She sinks into her seat as she thinks about Severus standing behind Bellatrix, among the people that don't like her kind. Among the people who consider her to have dirty, contaminated blood.

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><p><strong>Was it okay?<strong>

**I'm going to start working on the real story I have for Lily and James right now. And maybe something involving George will come later, because I've had a crush on Oliver Phelps for about six years...heheh.**

**Chlowie, xo**


	2. Second Year

**Sorry this is a day late or something! I was super whoop-de-dooper loop-de-looper**

**alley-ooper busy! But I'm going to post this now so I don't have to do my English assessment, because I am trying to spite my teacher. :**

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><p><strong>Chapter Two;<strong>

"They think they're so clever." Lily hisses quietly to Severus, watching four laughing figures from beind a tree. It's Sunday morning, and Lily is grateful to have all of her homework out of the way. It's their second year, and they have been back at Hogwarts for almost a month. They had spent their summer together as well, and Lily found it handy having Severus as her best friend. They helped each other with their homework through the holidays, and both found potions especially fun.

The boys they have been spying on stop their laughing, except for the smaller, rounder boy, obviously trying to suck up to the other three. This is Peter Pettigrew, the newest member to the group that now call themselves the 'Marauders'. The other three members are Remus Lupin, who Lily is quite fond of, Sirius Black, who Lily is particularly annoyed by, and James Potter, a boy who Lily hasn't quite made her mind up about yet. The redhead is sure that Peter was only invited to hang out with them because he was almost stalking them beforehand. Perhaps they feel sorry for him?

Since establishing the Marauders, the four boys have jumped at every chance to make the school a more...'interesting place'. This means they use whatever magic skills they have collected in the last year to play practical jokes on teachers, peers, and their favourite targets, Slytherins. They claimed to not understand how Slytherins belonged in the same category as students.

Lily had decided almost as soon as the group was created that she didn't like it. It was just something to enlarge their egos, and the way everyone looked up to them made her sick. They were feeding the minds of the first years with their bad habits and making the teachers more and more aggravated every lesson they had.

"Where do you think they get their ideas from?" Severus asks bitterly as Black waves his wand and sends a Slytherin's books flying out of his arms, growing wings and soaring toward the sky.

"Remus, probably." Lily muses, turning away from the boys. She tries to resist the urge to march over to them and scold them, like she has done a few times before. "He seems to be the only one out of them with any brains."

"I don't understand how they could get so many fans just from doing stupid things."

"I know. I wish they'd just wake up to themselves. They're giving Gryffindor a bad name."

Severus mutters something quietly, and Lily doesn't care enough to ask what it was.

Lily looks over her shoulder at them again. A small crowd has gathered around the marauders and are clapping, drowning out the Slytherin student's angry shouts directed at them. Eventually he gives up and stalks back to the castle, most likely to report them. Lily hopes he does, not even worrying about the huge chance that points would be taken from her own house. She bites her lip thoughtfully. Even though they'd had a talking to more times than anyone could remember, they didn't seem to mind.

"They don't need bigger heads then they already have." she spits as the crowd begins parting again and the Marauders go back to looking for trouble with superior looks on their faces.

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><p>It seems like half of the school has squashed itself in the Gryffindor section of the Quidditch stands. James takes a deep breath as he looks over all of them, his broomstick clutched tightly in his left hand. He was determined to join the Quidditch team this year, which is why he had convinced his parents it was perfectly reasonable to bring it to school.<p>

He spots Sirius, Remus and Peter in the crowd and grins confidently at them as Peter waves. He tries not to show that he's freaking out more than he ever has before and walks confidently to the Quidditch captian, who is giving the students trying out a short speech.

"Keepers first." he announces. James has decided he's trying out for a place as a Chaser, so waits impatiently with the rest of those with different places in mind.

Everyone trying out is fairly good. There's only one person that misses more than two quaffles, and eventually a fifth year girl is chosen for the team. The way they act makes James suspect that she had been in the team the year before, and isn't surprised. She's very coordinated and seems to know where the ball is going to go before it is even thrown.

Beaters are chosen next, and two boys, one from seventh year and one from fourth, are chosen for the parts. The seventh year boy has also been in the team before.

The Gryffindor Quidditch captain, Michael Gardener, is the Seeker in the team, so that only leaves Chasers for tryouts. James stands as he calls them over and mounts his broom when asked. He hopes desperately that no one knows how nervous he is as he rises into the air before hundreds of eyes from his house and others.

The four people that tried out before him were almost perfect. One of them dropped the Quaffle once, but other than that there were no major slip-ups. James can't help but imagine himself dropping the Quaffle and falling off of his broom as he tries to retrieve it, but does his best to push these images to the back of his mind.

Two of the chasers from the previous year are throwing him the Quaffle. The third has left Hogwarts, and the Gardener is looking to replace only him. He knows two of the best Chasers in the school are already on the team, but is going to go through all of the try-outs anyway. They begin throwing him the ball gently and slowly, then begin to really force it out of their arms as the minutes pass by. James easily catches the Quaffle each and every time, flying forwards and backwards, hanging off the side of his broom, leaning in ways the other Chasers hadn't ever been able to before, and making it all look effortless. As James sinks back to the ground with a number of people from the stands cheering for him, Gardener knows he has found his third Chaser. He doesn't feel like going through the rest of the people lined up, some who know look oddly sick, but he does anyway, because it's what is fair.

Before try-outs are over, James looks into the stands, where people are still congratulating him with claps, whistles and cheers. His eyes fall on a heap of thick, red hair and his smile fades a little when he notices Lily Evans appears to be the only person in the stands who doesn't look impressed as she tilts her head to the side and studies her right boot. He doesn't let it bother him, though, and smiles widely at his three best friends, who are making more noise than the rest of the spectators together.

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><p>Lily rolls her eyes a couple of days later when she walks into the Gryffindor common room. There is a notice posted about the people who had made it onto the team, and the Marauders and whooping loudly infront of it. Lily wants to get to breakfast but doesn't want to walk past them in case they make a scene involving her, so she pauses before passing them. Her Sunday is officially ruined.<p>

"What's up, Lily?" Mary's voice asks from behind her. Lily turns slightly to smile at her friend, who is around the same height with loose, blonde curls.

"Nothing," she says, bravely stepping across the common room to get to the portrait that allows them access too and from the Gryffindor common room.

"Evans! Macdonald!" Lily's eyes rolled back in her head in annoyance at the sound of Sirius Black's voice. The two of them turn unwillingly to the four boys, who are still crowded around the small notice. "Guess who the newest member of the Gryffindor Quidditch team is?" he asks, obviously enjoying the fact that his best friend has a new sense of power over the school.

Lily looks directly at James Potter while Mary stumbles over her words directed at Sirius. Potter doesn't look too proud or arrogant, like she has expected. He looks...proud of himself, but not arrogantly so. His eyes flicker away from hers, as if he is uncomfortable for once in his life with the attention Sirius is getting him.

"Congratulations, Potter." Lily says politely before taking Mary's hand and pulling her out of the common room.

"Not surprising." Mary says as soon as they begin making their way to the Great Hall.

Lily looks over her shoulder incase of Marauders and shushes her friend. "I keep telling you not to feed them unnecessary compliments. Their egos are already too big."

Mary laughs quietly. She doesn't understand Lily's views on this subject like Severus does. "They work hard for it. Their pranks are really funny."

"Mary," Lily says, shaking her head in a slightly frustrated way. "One of these days you will wake up and realise they are just attention-seeking prats."

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><p>James hates the fact that he's put himself in this situation. He's mentally kicking himself, which is hard to tell, because the pulse of his heart is taking over his whole body. He can feel it from his toes, to his shaking fingers, which he grips tighter around his broom, incase his team mates catch onto the fact that he's absolutely terrified.<p>

Michael Gardener is standing before the six others, all wearing the same scarlet and gold Quidditch jerseys, giving them what James assumes is a very inspirational speech before they go out, onto the field. He doesn't know, to be perfectly honest. He can't hear anything properly over the anxious worries in his head. A moment later he is wishing the worries back, because now he can't hear anything over the roar of the crowd in the stands. He didn't realise there were so many students at Hogwarts. Somehow there seemed to be more looking down on him at the moment than there ever are in the Great Hall for meals.

As the Gryffindors walk onto the field he hears his name being called out to all of the spectators with the rest of his team's name. Then the Hufflepuff team is marching towards them and their names are called out, as well. Their captain is a tall girl with short blonde hair, who smiles out of politeness and shake's Gardener's hand. Before he realises, they are all on their brooms and are in the air. The anxious feeling in his stomach becomes more and more until the whistle starting the game sounds and he is swerving and ducking under yellow and black robes to deliver the Quaffle to the other side of the field.

Most of his nerves come from the possibility that he could drop the Quaffle in front of so many people, but he doesn't. Not once, in the whole game, which is better than both of the other Chasers, who have been doing this a great deal of time longer than he has. At one point, as he shoots across the front of the Gryffindor section of the stands, he thinks he hears Sirius' cheer, and that gives him more confidence. He knows there are people out there that want him to do well, and that reminds him that he's playing for the team, not to let himself look good.

When the Quaffle leaves his arms and flies cleanly through one of the three hoops behind Hufflepuff's Keeper for the first time he thinks his face will never go back to normal, because his smile it too big. Gardener is shouting words of praise to James as he looks around for a speck of gold, and James is alarmed as he shoots off faster than what seems to be possible in the opposite direction. A moment later, however, the Gryffindor side of the stands erupts into a roar of happy shouting and Gardener holds the Snitch above his head, and giving Gryffindor the game, one-hundred and ninety to thirty.


	3. Third Year

**Hello! I think I'm a day late...I think. If I am, I'm sorry. I've been busy. With Disney things. :D So I don't really feel bad. :D Sorry.**

**Okey dokey lokey, here's the next chapter! Hope you like it!**

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><p><strong>Chapter Three;<strong>

Lily jumps as Slughorn roars over her. She should have seen that one coming. For the last three years it has been happening, but each time it does her heart stops for a moment.

She works at a desk with Severus, which is good, because he's still the only person in the school she feels she can share everything with. He's still the only person in the school who feels the same way about the Marauders as her. Their dislike has only grown since their previous years, and Lily now tries to avoid Remus, as well. He may be the nice, easy-going one out of all of them, but he _does _seem to be the brains behind all of their stupid ideas and she doesn't like the way she has to act like she is all for their stupidity when she's having a conversation with him.

"This is how it's done!" Slughorn booms to the class, holding up the vial Lily has just poured for all to see. "Well done, Miss Evans. Can't say I'm surprised, though, hmm? You've got yourself a good work partner there, Mr. Snape. Keep hold of her!" he said, winking at Severus before marching off to check on his other students.

"This is why I hate being your partner." Severus says in a half-joking way as he gently places his own vial onto the desk in front of him.

Lily rolls her eyes. "Sev, you know your potions are always just as good as mine. Sometimes I feel like Slughorn just makes a big deal out of them because I'm Muggleborn and he doesn't want to seem discriminative."

Severus doesn't have anything else to say about this subject, and snorts, annoyed when Slughorn reaches the table where Potter and Black are sitting. Since being the centre of one of their pranks last year, Lily believes they don't deserve to be referred to by their first names.

"I do believe the brew was supposed to be rich purple in colour, not...orange."

"Can we get just as many marks for having something that looks so...pretty?" Black asks, batting his eyelashes in a joking manner. Almost all of the Gryffindors in the classroom laugh, except for Lily, who rolls her eyes with Severus.

Slughorn thinks this is funny as well, and when he tests their potion and it whistles so loudly the students have to cover their ears, he chuckles instead of yelling and gets rid of their potion with a quick wave of his wand.

"I don't think there are any marks for the quality of the draft here, but I guess I can give you a few for the entertainment it gave us all."

Lily opens her mouth to shout something about that being completely unfair, but releases her anger with a huff and crosses her arms over her chest, turning to face the front of the room until their class is over.

It's lunch time, and she and Severus are walking to the Great Hall to eat. She is unwelcome to sit at the Slytherin table, and he gets dirty looks when he sits at the Gryffindor table, so they usually say goodbye before sitting down. Lily doesn't have a chance to sit in between Lyla and Mary, however, because James Potter interupts her just as she says goodbye to Severus and she raises an eyebrow to question what he wants.

For the first time ever, Lily sees Potter is nervous. He doesn't bother trying to hide it up this time. His thoughts are completely on one thing, and he still doesn't know if he'll be able to do this. He's been watching her all year, and part of the last, as well. In his first two years he'd found her annoying, then entertaining as she tried to end their pranks time and time again. Lately, though, he's picked up on things like how her nose would scrunch when he got a compliment off one of their teachers, and how she would walk long ways to her destination so she could avoid them. He doesn't like it when this happens. He likes it when she has to walk close to them; close enough so he can see the few freckles on her nose.

"Potter?" she asks quietly, aware that there are a few more people than usual watching her. Of course, most of the girls in their year wanted James Potter and Sirius Black, so their eyes never really ever left the two of them.

"Did you want to go out with me?" he spits out, louder than he'd anticipated.

Lily's green eyes widen as he blushes, completely mortified and looks down, wishing he knew a spell that would make him sink into the floor.

Lily doesn't know what to say. She tries to make her eyes more relaxed, but she doesn't really know how to do that, and looks behind him at the Gryffindor table. Black is grinning like a maniac and Remus has his eyes closed, waiting for her answer. Peter is looking at James like he is God, and Lily wonders why.

"No," she said quickly, catching the eye of a couple of Hufflepuff girls who look like they will shave her head if she accepts.

"What?" he asks weakly, leaning forward, as if he had heard her incorrectly.

She shakes her head, knowing her face was probably the same colour as a fire truck by now. "No. Thank you?" she clears her throat and looks around awkwardly.

James is still staring at her, and he wonders what to do now. He is aware that almost all of the hall has realised what is happening and is watching the two of them standing in between the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor table, and he can't just turn around and sit down, rejected. Can he?

"James," he hears Remus's quiet voice hiss behind him. "Sit down."

He turns immediately and jumps over the table cleanly, making Lyla Carter shriek loudly, attracting attention from the small portion of the hall that was still oblivious as to what was happening.

Lily stands there for a second longer, still staring at the floor before telling her legs to move. She can't sit at the table, right across from him now. She throws Mary, Lyla and Alice a look and the three of them follow her out of the hall, Scarlet from Ravenclaw running along after them, as well.

"What girl in that hall wouldn't love to be you right now?" Lyla snorts as Lily almost runs from the entrance hall, into the grounds.

"Oh my God, I can't believe that just happened!" Lily says, her face beginning to return to its normal colour.

Alice and Scarlet laugh loudly. "Lily! You just rejected James Potter!"

"What else was I supposed to say? I'm not going out with James Potter! He's arrogant an big-headed and -"

"And handsome, and charming, and one of the most talented Quidditch players in the school, and every girl here would be so jealous if you'd said yes!" Scarlet says, batting her eyelashes. She thinks for a second, then the smile disappears from her face. "I wish he'd asked _me_ out."

"It wouldn't last." Lily says surely. "We're only thirteen. He was just being stupid and trying to prove to the whole school that he could get any girl he wanted. I'm actually kind of glad he chose to ask me out. I must be the one girl in this entire place that wouldn't jump at the chance to accept his offer."

Mary rolls her eyes. "I think he likes you."

Lily gives her friend a strong, unwavering look. "No. He's just being Potter."

* * *

><p>Lily had been annoyed when James had asked her out once, so she is beginning to wonder if she should just hex him to get her point across when he begins doing it weekly. Then he starts asking her out a couple of times a week, and she wonders what on earth to do.<p>

Most of the time she just ignores him, but it's difficult on certain days. Especially when they are in the middle of a meal or a class and Black had the rest of the guys in the class chanting for her to say yes.

The worst times are when there are Hogsmeade visits coming up. He gets more persistant than anyone about anything she's ever known.

"No!" she says, completely fed up one night as she pours over a difficult Transfiguration essay on her favourite couch in the corner of the common room. "Why won't you get it through your abnormally large head, Potter? I - DO - NOT - WANT - TO - GO - OUT - WITH - YOU!"

This is more than she usually answers with, and the entire room has gone silent at her outburst, turning to watch the pair. Black gives Potter a tiny, sympathetic look from behind his shoulder as Potter takes a step back, away from the fiery red-head.

Without saying anything, he turns and begins to walk back to where Peter and Remus are waiting, both with disappointed looks on their faces. Lily sighs; she doesn't know why they look so down. It's not like anyone is expecting her to say yes to him now.

Though Lily is very good at her school work, she enjoys the time she has away from the castle. Hogsmeade is quickly becomming her next favourite place in the Wizarding World, second only to Hogwarts. During their second trip to Hogsmeade, she leaves a pub called the Three Broomsticks with Mary, Lyla, Alice and Scarlet surrounding her. They walk down the road, in the direction of Honeydukes; Lyla and Alice's favourite store.

Lily's friends walk on ahead of her as she stops to pick up the Sickles she drops while rummaging in her pocket.

She straightens up quickly, feeling as though someone is watching her. The road is almost completely empty, as the sun is about to set. There is no one close to her, but she still has the feeling... She gives up and walks through the door closely after her friends, her face breaking out into a wide smile as she sees the inside of Honeydukes for the second time.

"Evans!"

Lily keeps her head down when she hears the familiar voice, twenty minutes later. She is standing behind Lyla, who is waiting in line to get served at the counter.

"You're not _ignoring_ me, are you?" Black continues walking closer. He winks at Lyla, who grins, but doesn't say anything. "Have you seen my good friend James? I'm beginning to get worried." when Lily doesn't say anything, he continues, stretching out his palm. "I think he'd want you to have this." there is a small candy in his hand an Lily watches it warily, still completely silent. "Because he thinks your just as sweet."

Lily blushes angrilly as people around them begin laughing and pushes herself out of the line, walking quickly to the door. When she gets outside in the cold air she catches sight of Potter, who is leaning against a wall, waiting for his friends. She shakes her head at him angrilly, marching in the direction of a couple of her friends from Hufflepuff who are making their way back up to the castle.

She thinks it is completely unfair that she gets singled out from all of the other third year girls in the castle. Why her? Why wouldn't Potter just give up and focus his attention on someone else? Someone who actually _wanted_ the attention!

* * *

><p>Jame's eyes never leave the back of her auburn head during Transfiguration. She sits at the desk in front of him, beside that ridiculous Slytherin...<em>Snivellus.<em>

He watches with an amused expression as her shoulders slump for the second time in half an hour. Transfiguration, his best subject, is the one she had the most trouble in. It seems to be the _only_ subject she has any trouble in, actually.

"That was good! You're getting heaps better!" Snivellus lies encouragingly beside her.

Lily's red head shakes from side to side. "No, I'm not. I still suck. I'm not getting any better." this isn't entirely true. Every lesson Lily struggles, and then the lesson after she walks in with her head up and performs the previous incantation perfectly. It just takes her more time than anything else ever does. It's almost like she learns like a regular student in Transfiguration, which almost makes James deliriously happy. He wonders all the time how he can try to help her in the common room, but every time he approaches her she knows and turns the other way. Besides, even if she doesn't realise, he gets too worried about her reaction and gives up. He wonders if the Sorting Hat made the right decision about his placement. He's never really brave when around Lily Evans. He just does his best to act it.

She stops after the lesson to speak quietly to McGonagall. The latter shakes her head furiously when she sees James approaching Lily quietly from behind. He looks around to make sure no one else has noticed yet another of his failed attempts to ask Evans out and makes his way out of the room after his three best friends.

* * *

><p>Red and green robes fly around James as he grabs the Quaffle and speeds in the direction of the hoops at the far side of the Quidditch pitch. Everything's happening so fast that he can't see who's flying around him or distinguish the voices calling his name. He decides in a split second that he is close enough to the hoop and throws the Quaffle with all the force he has. As soon as it leaves his fingertips he swears silently. He's letting the team down. He doesn't have it.<p>

But the ball sails through the hoop cleanly despite how far away he's positioned and his face brakes out into a wide grin. They are in the lead by ten points.

He catches sight of Lily in the crowd, clapping half-heartedly. Quidditch isn't really her thing, and she's dropped a few hints in the months passed that he is the reason for this. Thinking of Lily only makes him thirst for winning more. He doesn't want Slytherin to win and _Snivellus _have any satisfaction.

When Bickens, the Seeker that's taken over for Michael Gardener, catches the Snitch he sees the Gryffindor stand and almost all of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw jump to their feet and scream at the top of their lungs. He laughs out loud and does a loop-the-loop, circling the pitch a couple of times before landing and celebrating in a close huddle of Gryffindors. As he's enveloped in a hug from the two other Chasers he sees Lily making her way back to the castle already and feels slightly disappointed. He might have been able to grab onto her if she'd been in this confusing group with the hundred or so other Gryffindors.

The celebration continues in the Gryffindor common room. Sirius won't let anyone sit down for more than a couple of minutes and a few fifth-years keep the music up. Parties after Quidditch matches like this only ever happen if Slytherin's been defeated.

"What'cha lookin' at?" Sirius' sly voice asks over his shoulder. James jumps and gives his friend a slightly guilty look.

"Nothing. I'm tired."

Lily and her friends continue dancing, unaware of the two boys watching her.

"James, I didn't want it to come to this, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you my wise words of wisdom." Sirius says, pushing him down, into one of the squishy maroon armchairs. Remus looks across at them and stands behind Sirius, interested in what is going to be said. Peter follows after him.

"I don't want to hear this." James says hesitantly.

"Yes, you do." Sirius insists immediately. His hand suddenly whips out and smacks James across the face. James raises his hand in shock and frowns furiously at his best friend.

"What in Merlin's name are you doing?"

"Get over her!" he says loudly. James' eyes flicker around the room in case anyone's listening, but the music is too loud for that. "There are plenty of girls in this school who are drooling over you because of many, many reasons - the main one being that I'm your best mate - and you're focusing all of your attention on this one stubborn -"

"Sirius," Remus shook his head, then turned to James. "I actually agree with what Sirius is saying...just not the way he's putting it. I get that you like Lily and she's pretty and smart, and...whatever else it is about her you find appealing, but I think you're going the wrong way about it. If she's said no this many times, she might not ever say yes. Maybe it's time to forget about her?"

James gives his friend a long look and the werewolf swallows, a little nervously, and continues. "We're only in our third year. A lot's going to happen in the next four and honestly, I just don't see you two being madly in love during our seventh. No offence." he adds quickly.

There is a long silence between the four friends, during which James' eyes are completely focused on Lily and the way her hair dances when she does.

"Or maybe." Remus continues thoughtfully. "You can start going other ways about it."

* * *

><p><strong>Next chapter should be up on Saturday! :)<strong>

**Chlowie, xo**


	4. Fourth Year

**Hi! I'm sorry that this has taken such a time to be posted. I can't really remember exactly how long ago it was supposed to be up, but I know it's been longer than I promised.**

**I saw the movie. It was almost two days ago that I watched it, but I still burst into tears every time I think about it. I'm crying now...ugh.**

**Everything here beongs to Joanne Kathleen Rowling. She is a genious.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Four;<strong>

It's Sunday; Lily's favourite day out of the whole week. The day where all of her homework is finished and there are no classes and she has twenty-four hours to recline and not give a worry to anything at all.

That's until she sees Potter approaching her.

She sighs loudly and pushes herself up onto the palms of her hands. Mary and Lyla, who are reading out of a textbook in between the two of them silently, look up to see him making his way over, then look back down at the pages with small smirks on each of their faces.

Lily knew it wouldn't last. It has been almost a whole month since the last time he'd asked her out, and she'd been flinching every time she'd seen him, just in case he was going to shout the question at her yet again. He seemed to be noticing just how much she detested him, because he hadn't really even tried to speak to her in a few weeks. He didn't offer help in Transfiguration anymore, he didn't watch her as much in the Gryffindor common room...he didn't even shoot daggers into the back of Severus' head when she was talking to him.

Thinking of Severus makes Lily feel a little sad. He'd been more distant this year...and he'd been hanging out more with a few Slytherins that weren't exactly Lily's choice in good friends. Her own friends seem to find this arrangement somewhat better than the one they had previously. Apparently they want her more as a friend without the baggage of Severus.

She shakes her head at Potter slightly, as if this is going to sway his plans, but he keeps advancing, a determined look on his face.

"Do you want us to move?" Lyla asks somewhat cheekily when he's standing over them. "We know this is your tree, but since you guys weren't here..."

"No, that's fine." he says immediately. Lily looks up slowly, catches his eye, then lowers her head back down again. "Lily?" she doesn't respond, so he sighs. "Evans?"

"Yes, Potter?" she asks quietly, sounding more like a timid mouse than a courageous lion. Ooh, she wasn't worthy to wear the Gryffindor uniform.

"May I speak to you for a moment?"

"Of course." she says, looking back up at him expectantly. Best to get it over and done with.

He clears his throat uncomfortably. "Would you mind walking with me?" Remus had said get her alone, speak to her gently. Don't shout, don't make jokes, be honest. He was going to try.

Lily takes a deep breath and pushes herself to her feet, ignoring the hand James has extended to help her. She stares at him until he begins moving, ignoring her best friends' adored wailing behind them.

He stops right by the edge of the Black Lake and she allows herself to look out at the cold water instead of at him.

"Do we need to do this?" she asks quietly.

"I'm not going to keep asking you out in the wrong ways." he tells her sincerely.

This makes her turn her head to look at him. "But you're going to keep asking me out?"

"Yes. I am." he says with a slightly cocky grin.

She folds her arms across her chest and puts all of her weight onto her left foot, standing straight again when she realises how much shorter than Potter it makes her.

"Well go on then."

"Do I have a slight chance of getting a yes from you?"

"No," she says immediately. His face falls, even though he must have been expecting her answer. He tries to cover up his disappointment by mussing his hair with his right hand. Lily tries not to snort, annoyed. He's had that ridiculous habit ever since stupid Lyla told him he looked hot when his hair was windswept from flying.

"I thought not." he says a little bitterly.

She sighs, annoyed. "Then why did you bother?"

"There's always a little hope."

"Why are you doing this, Potter?" she asks suddenly. "Why do you keep asking me out?"

His eyebrows pull together. "I...like you?"

She shakes her head. "No, I don't think you do. I think you're trying to prove to the school that you never fail. Your head's way too big for you to admit you might fail just once."

"That's not what it is," he begins, but she talks over him again.

"Yes, it is."

"_No_, it's not!"

"Yes, it is!"

"IT'S NOT!" he says loudly, breaking his promise to Remus. He composes himself as her eyebrows shoot up her forehead. "Sorry... I'm not trying to win you over just to prove I constantly win to a bunch of people whose opinions I don't even care about! Yes, I'm competitive, yes, I like to win a _lot_, but I'm not making you a game, Lily!"

She is quiet for a few seconds, then mumbles. "I don't believe you."

He rolls his eyes, frustrated, and gives up for the day. "Why not?"

"It doesn't make sense."

* * *

><p>"What does she mean, <em>'It doesn't make sense'<em>?" James asks furiously in front of the common room's fire, turning to Remus.

"I can answer that." Sirius offers behind them. He's ignored.

Remus shakes his head. "I don't know." he sighs and leans against the side of the couch, stretching his legs out on the carpet in front of him. "I'm tired."

"I'm sorry, Moony." this nickname has become natural for them to say since the start of their forth year, when Sirius blurted it out over breakfast. "I know this time of the month's hard for you."

"Don't worry about it." he insists, waving his arm. "S'nothing I'm not used to."

"Wish there was some way we could get in on the action." Sirius says eagerly, leaning forward. "I'd love to see you on a full moon."

"No, you wouldn't." Remus gets to his feet and begins to make his way to their dormitory. He looks back over his shoulder and bids his three best friends goodnight.

Sirius gasps suddenly and looks over his shoulders to check that the common room is completely empty. He doesn't really have to do this. Not many other students bother to stay up at three in the morning.

"I've got an idea!"

"Praise Merlin!" James exclaims, clapping his hands together in front of him. Peter laughs unnecessarily loudly beside them and they ignore him until he's finished.

"An idea to help Moony out," Sirius continues in a hushed voice despite their being alone. He leans forward from the couch to speak to his friends closer. "Anamagi,"

"Anamagi?" James repeats, bewildered. "Sirius, we'd never be able to accomplish that! Besides, it's not like anyone's going to grant us registration because we want to run around with a werewolf during the full moon."

"We could do it. We're the most skilled in out year...with pranks and stuff. We're talented! We could do it!"

"Registration." Peter reminds him quietly.

Sirius waves his arm indifferently. "Who cares about registration? It's not like we follow the rules closely at all anyway!"

"We're only fourteen..."

"We could do it!" Sirius insists.

James and Peter know they shouldn't bother arguing. Sirius has this vibe...apparently it's a Black thing. But he gets in a head space and suddenly what he's set on is the only right way and he convinces everyone around him to believe the same thing. He'd never lost something he felt this passionately about.

After a short while, Peter and James agree. Then they run up to their dorm to get a few hours sleep before they need to be at breakfast.

* * *

><p>Lily is angry that her friends can't accept how she is to Severus. Apparently his friends can't accept it even more than her own. During a free period on Wednesday afternoon she leaves the castle to find Mary shaking her head, against a tree with Mulciber's wand directed at her face. Avery is standing behind him with his arms crossed. None of them have seen Lily yet.<p>

She fires a hex immediately. Bat-bogey. Her specialty. She doesn't bother to get an explanation from either of them. Her friend's at the point of a Slytherin's wand, looking terrified. Obviously they're not about to leave quietly. Avery turns in her direction, grabbing his wand out of the pockets of his robes but she stuns him as she runs forward. She grabs Mary's hand and pulls her into the castle. Mary's eyes are wide and she's biting her lip tightly.

"Mary?" Lily asks quietly.

Mary nods a couple of times to let her know she's alright. "Thank you." she says without looking at her friend.

They go to see Dumbledore immediately, with the help of Professor McGonagall after Lily tells her what it is about. Mary doesn't say anything, but follows after Lily, who is squeezing her hand tightly.

Dumbledore doesn't jump to his feet in a rage, nor does he raise his voice in anger or show the slightest bit of anger on his face. He listens silently as Lily paces her way around his office, gesturing to her friend wildly and throwing her arms in the air. At the end he thanks them for coming in, tells Mary he hopes she feels better soon and suggests they visit Madam Pomfrey for a calming draft.

Lily doesn't speak to Severus for two days. He's heard about what happened, and yet he still spends all of his time with Avery and Mulciber. How could he? He _knows_ they're bad people. He _knows_ they're everything people stereotype Slytherin with.

He eventually finds her in the courtyard an she wonders how she can avoid speaking to him here. She can't. He begins speaking and she stands up, walking in the other direction. He keeps a steady pace beside her.

"I thought we were supposed to be friends?" Severus continues. "Best friends?"

"We _are_, Sev," she insists. "But I don't like some of the people you're hanging around with! I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber. _Mulciber!_" she snorts in disgust. "What do you see in him, Sev? He's creepy! D'you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?"

She leans against the nearest pillar and looks up into Severus' thin face, waiting for him to respond.

"That was nothing," Severus says. "It was a laugh, that's all -"

Lily gives him a look full of outrage. "It was Dark Magic, and if you think that's funny -"

"What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?" it's been a while since they discussed the Marauders together. It only makes Seveus get angry and snap at her. It seems to be partly her fault that he gives her so much attention.

"What's Potter got to do with it?" for once Potter seems like the good guy. There was no need for him to be dragged into this.

"They sneak out at night. There's something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?"

"He's ill," Lily says. "They say he's ill -"

"Every month at the full moon?"

"I know your theory." Lily says coldly. His theory made perfect sense. She believes him completely. She just doesn't want to give him the satisfaction of being right just now. "Why are you so obsessed with them, anyway? Why do you care what they're doing at night?"

"I'm just trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are." he gives her a long look, his eyes burning, and her neck begins to feel warm.

"They don't use dark magic, though." she begins to speak quietly. "And you're being really ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow and James Potter saved you from whatever's down there -"

Severus' face fills with rage and he struggles for words. "Saved? Saved? You think he was playing the hero? He was saving his neck and his friends' too! You're not going to - I won't let you -"

"_Let _me? _Let_ me?" her eyes narrow into slits.

Severus, once again, struggles for words. "I didn't mean - I just don't want to see you made a fool of - he fancies you, James Potter fancies you!" he seems to be slightly in pain while he spits this out. "And he's not...everyone thinks...big Quidditch hero -" Lily raises her eyebrows as she tries to decode what he's trying to say.

"I know James Potter's an arrogant toerag," she says, finishing his spluttering."I don't need you to tell me that. But Mulciber and Avery's idea of humour is just evil. _Evil,_ Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them." she looks closer and realises he isn't listening anymore. She resists rolling her eyes, and doubts he's heard anything she had said about his friends.

The two of them walk back to the castle, Severus seeming a lot more at ease than he had been before she'd insulted Potter.

* * *

><p>They'd accomplished it. They were Anamagi.<p>

Illegal and unregistered Anamagi, but still...

Moony had seemed really hesitant when he was first told. No, he'd been really hesitant coming up to the first full moon since they'd done it. When he was first told he'd been the angriest any of them had ever seen him.

It is the night of the full moon and Remus has gone to the Shrieking Shack, out of the way of the students of Hogwarts. James, Sirius and Peter are sitting in the Gryffindor common room, watching the sky darken outside. James and Sirius are anxious and excited to get going. Peter, a little more worried than his two best friends, but he isn't going to let them know that.

"This is gonna be great!" Sirius says with a wide grin. James nods and they turn to Peter for his feelings on the subject. He smiles back at them, and they accept it.

"Just hope he doesn't attack us." James says in a hushed voice. The three of them escape to their empty dormitory, where they cover themselves with the Invisibility cloak James' father gave to him.

"Let's go." Sirius whisperes with excitement to his two best friends.

They escape to the grounds, being as quiet as they can in case they run into a teacher or prefect.

"Wish there was some way to know if anyone was around..." Peter says as Professor Slughorn hums past them. He turns the corner and they continue walking out of the castle.

"That'll be our next project." James says when they finally get out of the castle. They run quickly to the Whomping Willow in the chilly wind. Peter immediately turns into the little rat and scurries out from under the cloak and runs to a knot at the base of the tree. The branches stop swinging wildly and the tree freezes. James and Sirius grin at each other from under the cloak. They're Marauders, and they know these things.

Once inside the tree, James and Sirius hang up their robes, stash the invisibility cloak safetly inside a pocket and turn into their animal forms. It's still completely new and thrilling, and even though they know they're being stupid and stepping into extreme danger, they can't help being more excited then they had been all year.

It is the first time any of them have ever seen Remus as a werewolf. To begin with, it is terrifying. He seems interested in them from time to time, but doesn't try to attack them at all. Which calms the three of them down a great deal. It is easy to lose themselves to their animal selves, and hard to remember it is Remus in front of them.

At the end of the night they return to the base of the Whomping Willow and turn back to humans. The sun is going to rise in something like an hour, and they want to be well out of the way before they are found. They also want _some_ sleep before they have to get up to attend classes. Remus won't be in class today. He's usually run-down for a couple of days after the full moon, and so misses the first day of classes.

They return to their dormitory without saying one word the whole time. James can barely keep his eyes open, and he tells himself he'll shower in the morning, not really believing it. He wonders if he should comment on the evening, but Sirius' loud snoring fills the room so he lets himself fall to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Seeing the movie made me want to change this and let Severus have Lily. But no.<strong>


	5. Fifth Year

**Hello! I honestly don't know how I'm managing this, because I'm SUPER busy with a musical that starts tomorrow! - Yay! Aha. - but here's the next chapter. Just for you.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Five;<strong>

Lily sits at a small table, clutching her quill desperately. She has a painful cramp running through her hand, but there's too much in her head and she keeps writing down all the words she can.

She smirks as she reads question ten, but answers immediately, the question filling her head with thoughts of Remus. Poor Remus. The full moon was in a couple of days and she could tell the stress of the exams were just making him feel that much worse.

She scribbles down the fifth sign to identify a werewolf that comes to her mind and pauses for a moment longer to check she knew exactly what she was writing about before putting it down.

Thank goodness the school year was almost over. The last couple of months had been spent revising over absolutely everything they had ever learned and it was beginning to get a little crazy. They had hours of homework to do every night, jam-packed lessons and particularly had punishments should they fail to do something they were told to. Lily had tried not to yawn eleven times already during that exam. With prefect things going on as well as all of the school stress it was hard to find time to sleep. Just another reason why Lily feels sorry for Remus.

After the exam, the fifth years pour out onto the lawn outside of Hogwarts. Lyla, Alice, Scarlet, Lily and Mary make their way to the lake with a few more of Scarlet's friends from Ravenclaw. They peel off their shoes and socks and dip their feet in the water. Lily leaves her feet in until they go numb and she finds it hard to move them, then pulls them out and turns around to see what all the fuss behind them is about.

There is quite a crowd assembling near the area the Marauders usually sit. Lily rolls her eyes. Merlin only knows what they're doing now. She doesn't want to go and check, but a couple of her friends stand to see what is happening and she doesn't know how it would be if she were the only one outside not showing interest.

A loud laugh echoes around all of the Marauder's audience, mixed with a few insults and swear words. Lily recognises these harsher voices as a few of the Slytherin students, and it doesn't surprise her that this is the house the Marauders have targeted, yet again. The laughing is almost certainly the result of one of Black's 'clever' jokes, and she decides she should put a stop to it if Remus hasn't told him to already.

_"Scourgify!"_ Lily pushes through shoulders, being shorter than most of the other people in their year and gets to the front of the crowd just in time to see pink soap bubbles choking Severus and falling onto the grass in front of him.

"Leave him ALONE!" Lily shouts loudly. She catches Black's and Potter's attention, and the latter quickly raises his hand to his hair.

"All right, Evans?" he asks maturely.

"Leave him alone," she says again, not bothering to hide the disgusted look on her face when she stares at _him_. "What's he done to you?"

Potter's pleasant face disappears and a joke fills his eyes. "Well, it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean..."

The crowd laughed again and Lily tries not to scream in anger at all of them, noticing that Remus was deeply pulled into the book in his lap. She suddenly wants to thank him and tell him he meant a lot to her...and also to get him to stop hanging out with his friends, or, at the very least, stop them messing around like they did.

"You think you're funny." she says coldly, turning back to Potter. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone,_"

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," Potter said immediately. Of course. It had been weeks since he last asked her out. This year he'd gone back to asking her out quickly, rudely and stupidly in front of the entire population of the school. Apparently she didn't mean enough to keep the seriousness going after all. "Go on," he continued. "Go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

She saw out of the corner of her eye that his Impediment Jinx on Severus was beginning fade off, and Severus was trying his best to make his way to his wand, bubbles and foam still being spat out of his mouth as he did. He could do this. Lily didn't need to help him one hundred percent.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," she said, raising her chin a little.

"Bad luck, Prongs," Black says, getting it out of the way as quickly as he can. Her answer's not surprising to anyone. He turns around and catches Snape, who is finally holding his wand. "OI!"

Before Lily can understand exactly what is happening, Severus' want is flicked at Potter's cheek, where a deep cut slices its way up his face. Blood flies out of the wound and drips onto his robes and Potter turns quickly, flicking his wand expertly and raising Severus into the air by his ankle.

Lily tries not to look at her old best friend, but can't help it and feels herself about to laugh. She composes herself as everyone around her cheers in delight and the three most annoying Marauders laugh loudly.

"Let him down!" Lily warns them.

"Certainly," Severus falls to the ground heavily as Potter pulled his wand up. Severus jumps to his feet with his wand out, but Black is too quick for him and freezes him, making him fall over again.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily yells for what, she hopes, will be the last time. She pulled her wand out of her robes and Potter and Black notice it warily.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," says Potter.

"Take the curse off him, then!"

James sighs, saying the counter-curse quietly and freeing Severus, who gets to his feet slowly. "There you go," he says, sounding a little annoyed. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus -"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" the words come out quickly, and Lily blinks, not believing she really heard them. What? Had Severus really said that? Severus, who had once comforted her and told her that it didn't matter to be a...

"Fine," she says coolly after composing herself for a few seconds. "I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus._" it hurts. She'd never imagined she'd be on the side that was teasing Severus, but here she was. But she didn't feel bad enough to feel sorry for him. He'd hurt her in a way she thought only the worst of people would.

"Apologise to Evans!" Potter yells so loudly Lily jumps. He points his want threateningly at Snape.

Lily feels her anger bubble up inside of her even more. "I don't want _you_ to make him apoligise! You're as bad as he is."

"What?" James is outraged. "I'd NEVER call you a - you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK!" she shoots back. She turns quickly and hurries away before she bursts into tears. She can feel them coming already, and she doesn't want anyone to see her weak. The worry about exams are completely pushed from her mind with everything that has happened in the short afternoon.

She hears Potter calling after her, but she doesn't turn around. She doesn't have anything to say to him, and she really doesn't want to see his obnoxious face any more today. She didn't think she could despise him any more than she already did, but now she realises she hates him just as much as Avery and Mulciber...and all of the other Slytherins who had bothered her over the years.

She makes it back to the Gryffindor common room without her tears escaping. There are a couple of people from her year who were studying for the next exam, or talking about the last one they'd done, but they don't pay her any attention. Thank goodness.

Lily hurries up to her room and falls onto her bed, pulling the covers around her. She curls up in a ball and buries her face deep into her pillow as she finally lets the tears fall out of her eyes.

Severus. Her best friend in the whole world, Severus. She still couldn't believe it. How many times had he comforted her when she was called a...one of those? How many times had he told her not to listen to those people, because they weren't worth worrying about? Somehow having him comfort her time and time again had made her realise it was more than just a word. It was something to be ashamed of. A filthy word that shouldn't ever be used.

What was supposed to happen now? Even though she hadn't spoken to Severus as much as she used to, she had still considered him to be her best friend; he was the only one who felt the same way about the Marauders; he was the one she'd chosen over her sister, the very first person to ever tell her she was a witch. How could she just push him out of her life and forget about him?

* * *

><p>Lily stumbles out of the portrait hole from the Gryffindor common room and straightens up when she sees Snape standing out there. She narrows her eyes angrilly and folds her arms across her chest. "You should leave."<p>

"I'm sorry." he says pleadingly, as if that would solve everything.

She replies stiffly. "I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath."

Snape watches her for a second, and she wishes she'd taken a couple of minutes to change out of her dressing gown and put something more wearable on. She must look like an idiot instead of intimidating in front of him like this. She doesn't get the effect she's after wrapped in pink fluff. Not to mention the colour clashed terribly with her hair...

"I only came out here because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here." she says, trying not to let any emotion seep into her voice. It was the first time she'd looked at him since...

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you a Mudblood, it just -"

"Slipped out?" she asks visciously. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends - you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

He looks as though he is trying to find something to say, but comes up short.

"I can't pretend any more." Lily says quietly. "You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No - listen, I didn't mean -"

"- to call me a Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

He looks like he is about to say something else, but Lily doesn't want to hear anything he has to say. She's sick of him. Beyond sick of him. At this moment, she'd take James Potter asking her out or Sirius Black directing a prank at her in front of a group of laughing Gryffindors. She has no more time for Severus, and she wants him to know that.

When she enters the Gryffindor common room again the first thing she sees is Mary, Lyla and Alice sitting with the Marauders. Lyla and Mary have always gotten along with the four boys and enjoyed talking to them, but Alice was usually on Lily's side when it came to them. Beside her, Frank Longbottom from their year is talking quietly with her. The two of them aren't paying any attention to the other six next to them.

James had been watching the portrait closely, but looks away when Lily meets his eyes. She narrows her own at him, even though he's not looking anymore and gives Lyla, the only person looking at her, a questioning look. Lyla waves her over, but she shakes her head and yawns widely for effect, walking quickly up the stairs to their dormitory.

She stands in the entrance of the room for a few minutes, wondering what to do. She wishes her friends were up here to talk to her in stead of down there paying the most annoying people in the world attention. The egotistical idiots didn't need any more girls blowing their heads up.

She decides to clean out her trunk to try to keep her mind off things. Halfway through folding her clothes for the second time, there is a tapping on her window. One of the school owls is waiting to come in. She lets it in, out of the rain and takes the letter tied to its leg. Who would be writing to her at this time of night? Who would have enough guts to sneak to the Owlery to write a letter to begin with?

_I'm sorry._

She recognises the writing immediately. She sighs angrilly and tears the note up in her hands, throwing it out the window and watching the pieces blow across the side of the castle. She isn't going to forgive Snape through a letter. He is an idiot if he thinks she will.

By the time her friends have come up the stairs for bed, she's decided she doesn't want to talk to them after all. She climbs under her covers and turns her head the other way so they won't check if she is awake and closes her eyes, breathing lightly. She'll see them in the morning and recount what had happened with Snape.

* * *

><p><strong>I will be back when I'm off stage. I will miss you until then, though!<strong>


	6. Sixth Year

**Hello! I'm sorry it took such a long time for this to be posted. The next chapter will be up more quickly, I promise!**

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><p><strong>Chapter Six;<strong>

"I don't care what he does, or says, or thinks...I won't forgive him." Lily says determinedly as Scarlet helps her lift her bags onto the train.

"That's the way, Lily. Just ignore him. No one's going to miss him hanging around."

"You're all grateful, aren't you?" Lily raises an eyebrow and looks at her friend sadly.

"Lily," they take a seat in an empty compartment and Scarlet gives her friend a grim look. "I don't know how to answer that. You _know _the answer already, but it seems terrible to voice it... I just think we all knew it was coming. He's a Slytherin, and even though I know that's very stereotypical there's still the fact that he hangs out with people like...Mulciber and Avery." she raises her top lip in disgust and looks at Lily for her reaction.

Lily stares at her for a few seconds. "Houses don't have anything to do with it." she says simply. "You're a Ravenclaw, and you're not all that intelligent."

This seems to be a horribe thing to say, but it is the truth. The image people have of Ravenclaw is something completely different to how half of them actually are. Cleverness isn't just about school grades... As it is, Scarlet shrugs and looks up as Alice, Mary and Lyla enter the compartment. "Remus is looking for you." Alice tells Lily, who stands up at once.

"Prefect meeting." she announces before slipping out of the compartment and walking into Remus' chest. "Sorry,"

"I was coming to get you. I thought the five of you would have hours of conversation to catch up on."

"It can wait." Lily says, rolling her eyes.

The two of them endure a ridiculously long chat with their new Head Boy and Girl, then leave together to patrol the compartments of the train. "If we turn out to be the Heads next year," Remus begins in a joking manner. "Remind me never to make a speech that long and boring."

Lily laughs lightly and stares for a moment too long into a certain Slytherin's compartment.

"Still haven't forgiven him?" Remus asks, watching her.

"Nope. And I'm not going to."

"Ever?" he chuckles. "You can really hold grudges, Evans."

Lily knows where he was going by this, so decides to change the subject. "You're not looking too well, Remus. Are you feeling okay?"

"Maybe the flu..." he says quietly.

Lily gives him a long look, wondering if she should break the news to him that she knew exactly what was wrong, then shakes her head. "No, I don't think it's the flu."

"Evans!" the compartment door they were about to pass opens with a bang and Black steps out with his arms outstretched. James bites his bottom lip behind his best friend, but smiles out of politeness when Peter laughs toward him.

"Morning, Black," Lily says, trying to walk past him. "Morning," she smiles stiffly at Peter, but ignores James completely as she slips through Sirius' arms and marches off to the corridor she'd first come from.

"Seems like she's craving some attention from you, Prongs." Sirius says with a cheeky grin. James tries not to look to upset over her ignorance toward him, and puts on a mask of a smile when Remus congratulates him, once again, for being made Quidditch captain.

* * *

><p>Lily is smirking in the stands as she watches Potter trying to control the mass of people that have showed up at the Quidditch grounds to try out for the Gryffindor team. She has only been dragged down here to show her support for Lyla, who has wanted to try out since third year, and is annoyed at how many girls there are in the stands watching. She'd always thought that most of the Quidditch followers in the school were boys...though, watching the way the girls swoon every time James shows off on his broomstick makes her doubt they are there to watch the try-outs themselves. Half of them aren't even in Gryffindor.<p>

Of course Sirius is going to make it onto the team. You don't have to be smart to work that one out. Lily convinces herself that it's just because James is abusing his new power over the team, but she's lying to herself. Sirius is talented. Remus and Peter don't try out, and they sit on the bench in front of Lily, so she and Remus have a small conversation while Mary pretends not to be listening and focuses absently on Lyla, who is impatiently waiting to show James what she can do.

"What's Lyla going for?" Remus asks when he first notices her out there.

"Keeper," Lily and Mary both answer together. They have no doubt their friend will make it. She's insanely quick-thinking, and quick-flying despite the broom she owns, and always is appointed Keeper when playing outside of school. Lily keeps score, which is fine by her. She hates having her feet too far off the ground.

When the try-outs are over, Lily and Mary begin making their way down to the pitch to meet with Lyla. Scarlet, who was sitting with a couple of her Ravenclaw friends, is already down there, talking happily with her oldest friend and James Potter. Lily narrows her eyes in disgust as Lyla laughs and hugs James before he turns around to talk to a couple of the other people who tried out.

"How do you think I went?" she asked happily.

"Perfect. You're gonna get in." Lily says surely.

Lyla grins widely and jumps when Sirius Black maked a loud clicking sound in her ear. "You did great, Carter!"

"Thanks, Black...so did you." her lips pull back in a tight grin and Lily and Mary notice the faint blush on her pale cheeks, but they don't say anything.

"I'm going back to the castle." Lily murmurs to Mary as her eyes lock with Potter's. He looks like he's wondering whether or not he should come over, so she turns and marches quickly off the field, meeting up with Remus on the way.

"Hey, Lily,"

"You're not staying behind to tell Sirius how great he was?" she asks with a raised eyebrow.

"I have no doubt he doesn't already know."

She rolls her eyes. "That's for sure. Can't wait to hear what comes out of his loud mouth when it's out that he got in."

"You don't have to stay in the same room."

Lily laughs lightly, then looks over her shoulder, back at the place on the pitch she's just left. James is still watching her, and looks as if he's moved a great deal closer, as if he was going to follow her, but Peter had stopped him and is now blabbering away, bouncing slightly with excitement.

Lily sighs and turns around again. Remus seems to know exactly what is going on.

"Still avoiding him?"

"Avoiding who?"

He grins and kicks at a rock with his shoe, following it as he walks. "You know who I'm talking about. I don't think you've raised your voice at him for three weeks...which just means you haven't acknowledged him."

"He hasn't done anything to particularly upset me in a few weeks, is all." she says with a small shrug of her shoulders.

"I'm not stupid, Lily. Half of James' audience watches you for a reaction when he does something idiotic to get attention. I actually think you're the reason he does some of that stuff. He likes to get a reaction from you."

"I wish he'd give up." she says stiffly. "I wish he'd actually find someone who could fall for him...someone he wouldn't have to pretend to like just so he could get attention."

"I don't think that's all it is, Lily." Remus says honestly. Lily doesn't know if she can believe him or not, but feels her cheeks warm up. "He was talking about you a while before he began asking you out...even if it was calling you a know-it-all," he laughs as Lily tries not to shout something stupid. "Just...give him a bit more credit. And go back to yelling at him, I think he's starting to miss you."

* * *

><p>Lily feels as though she's going to pass out from exhaustion at any moment. She yawns widely as she and Remus move slowly down a corridor silently, neither of them paying the slightest attention to their surroundings.<p>

She loves being a prefect, but that on top of all the school work their teachers are giving them to prepare them for their NEWTs is making her sleeping schedule a little messed-up. She's wondered a few times in the last week whether she should just follow Lyla's advice and give up spending so much time on her homework.

Not only has her school work been giving her a tough time, but so has her social life. She and Scarlet have felt a dent in each of their lives since Lyla got accepted onto the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Lily still has Alice and Mary to hang around while she is at practice or just hanging around with her team mates, but Scarlet feels neglected by someone that had been like her sister as she grew up. She's started to replace Lyla with Lily, which meant trips to the Ravenclaw Common Room have become regular for the prefect as well.

Lily is also missing Severus. She told herself she wouldn't, but she is. He'd tried to talk to her a few times since the school year had started, and even though she constantly reminded herself that she didn't need to be around him she desperately just wants to run to him and wrap her arms around him and apologise for ignoring him so.

"Something's on your mind." Remus sings, breaking the perfect silence. Lily jumps slightly and gives him a small smile.

"Yeah..."

"Severus?" he asks immediately.

She throws him an annoyed look. "I hate it how you do that. Stop doing that."

"What?"

"You always know exactly what I'm thinking! Why do you do that?"

"It's not my fault you're uncommonly easy to read and unobservant." he half-jokes, picking up on the fact that she is truly annoyed at the way he knows the inside of her head.

"No, I'm not observant at all." she gives him a dark look from the corner of her eye, but he is looking the other way. "So when's the next full moon?"

Remus hesitates for a second, turning to her quickly, then his shocked expression becomes puzzled. "Why should I know something like that?"

"I thought it mattered." Lily says, already regretting voicing it. Oh well. Might as well get it out there now. "You'll be getting the flu the day before at least."

"How long have you known?" he sighs, his eyebrows pulling together worriedly.

"Severus and I had suspicions in fourth year." she admits, ducking her head a little.

"And?"

"And...what?" she frowns up at him, which makes him return the gesture.

"You're not going to tell me it's terrible and you'd rather not know me?"

"Remus," she laughs slightly. "You're one of the only people I can tell absolutely everything I'm thinking about to. You're the _only_ person I can tell absolutely everything I'm thinking about to...especially since you already know it all anyway. I'm not going to react in a bad way over this!"

"Really?" he gives her a relieved smile.

"Yes," she laughs this time. "You're one of my best friends, Remus," she wraps her arms around him and closes her eyes, for a split second pretending he's Severus. "And don't worry, no one else knows."

"Except Snape."

"He's not sure." she reminds him. She pauses at the end of the corridor they're about to leave and turns to look over her shoulder with a small frown.

"Lily?" Remus stops as well and looks at her questioningly.

"Yeah," she walks forward a couple of steps, her eyes still looking the other way. "Sorry," she turns back to him and smiles. "I just keep getting this really weird feeling...that I'm being followed." she laughs as if she doesn't believe it herself, but Remus grimmaces.

"Can't see anyone," he says, a little louder than necessary. "Why should someone be following you?" Lily misses the dark look he throws to the empty air and shrugs, walking forward more quickly to join him once more.

"C'mon, Remus. I just want to go to bed."

* * *

><p>Scarlet moans and leans her head against the tree she and Lily are sitting under. Lily looks up from her book at the first noise to break the silence in half an hour and sees Lyla laughing with Black and Potter behind Scarlet's shoulder. Potter seems to be able to sense this or something - or he's just a stalker - because he looks toward her at the same time and their eyes meet.<p>

She scoffs and looks back to the pages in her book, shaking her head slightly.

"I thought we were supposed to _share_ these free periods?" Scarlet whined. "This is the time we're supposed to be complaining about all of the annoying things Alice and Mary manage to do! Why isn't Lyla here to contribute more than her share?"

"I seriously don't know why she hangs out with them." Lily said, shaking her head again. "Immature, stupid, annoying, arrogant -"

"Seriously don't know?" Scarlet says with a small smirk.

"Yes..." Lily frowns slightly at her friend, wondering what's so funny.

"Seriously?" she draws it out with an even bigger smile.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Siriusly?" this time Lily hears the difference between words and rolls her eyes.

"Idiot," she says simply, kicking her foot toward Scarlet. "There's something wrong with you. An absence of Lyla has made you mad."

"I was always mad, Lily," Scarlet crosses her eyes. "We're not that uncommon in Ravenclaw."

"Hey," the two of them look up to see Scarlet and her two team mates standing behind her.

"Hello," Lily says, her eyes going straight back to her book.

"Looks like you're having fun, Evans." Potter says, mussing his hair as he leans against the tree above her. Scarlet moves forward, off the tree awkwardly.

"Loads," she sniffs, turning her page even though she hadn't really taken in the words on the page previously.

"You could have more fun in Hogsmeade this weekend. Come with me?"

"Sorry," - she throws him a look that tells him she's not at all - "I have a date already."

"Giant squid finally got the guts to ask you?"

"Piss off, Potter." she says, closing her book and standing up.

"Where are you going?" Scarlet yells as she marches through them all, toward the castle.

"To find a date for Hogsmeade." she shoots back. She hears Sirius bark a laugh behind her, then blocks them out as Lyla begins calling her name to stop her.

When she enters the castle and starts making her way to the Gryffindor common room she hears her name being called again, but by someone different.

"Lily," she sighs and stops walking. She wants to see him, too.

She turns, slowly looking up at Severus. "Hi,"

"I want to talk to you." he says softly, stopping a couple of steps in front of her.

She can't help it. All at once, tears start leaking out of her eyes and she closes the distance between them and wraps her arms around his shoulders. She automatically buries her head into the space between his shoulder and his chest, his black and green robes against her red hair. Suddenly, she feels more at home than she has since she first came to Hogwarts. She misses the days they used to sit around before she'd gotten her acceptance letter and do the tiny things they could just manage; tiny things that had seemed so wonderfully amazing to Lily in the past. And now...she felt as though she hardly knew Severus.

"I'm sorry," she sniffs after a minute, pulling away from him and wiping her eyes. Then she realises he was holding her back and looks down at the floor. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too."

"I want to be your best friend again."

"Why aren't you?"

She sighs and takes another step away from him. "It doesn't work anymore, Severus."

"Why not?"

"We both made choices." she whispers. "We're going in different directions. We'll probably end up forgetting each other one day."

"No," he said stubbornly. "I'm not going to forget you, Lily."

She looks up and gives him a long, sad look. He watches her for a moment longer, then turns and continues on his way.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope that was okay. :)<strong>

**Chlowie, xo**


	7. Seventh Year, Part 1

**Hi, everyone! I missed you! I'm SO sorry that I haven't uploaded in a really long time...I moved house. And in the process my laptop stopped working. Ah, dramas, dramas. So right now I'm on my sister's laptop hoping she doesn't come home before I'm finished and kicks me...**

**I hope this chapter is worth it. I decided to split the seventh chapter in half, because it was getting way too long. I'll post the next chapter in a week.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Seven<strong>

"Have fun with your last year, Head Girl." Lily's father kisses her forehead and her mother's arms leave her for the last time as she smiles and turns toward the Hogwarts Express. She's trying to make it all count. She's going to Imprint it all into her head so she never forgets - so she remembers it clearly enough to tell her children and her children's children.

Things aren't that different from her first year, she thinks as she drags her bag up to the side of the train. She's still singled out for her bright red hair, her unusually green eyes...she's still quite tiny for her age.

She pulls her bags up quickly, but nothing happens and she sighs, annoyed. Great. She's going to be the reason half the school miss the train because she's too weak to lift a stupid bag.

"Need some help?" her bags are lifted easily by a pair of light brown hands and put on the entrance of the train.

_Not different at all," _she thinks bitterly, turning around as she steps onto the train after her bags. "Thank you," she said, turning as quickly as she's able to. She makes her way to the compartment she usually finds Lyla, Alice, Mary and Scarlet and slides the door open. Alice is the only one here so far.

"Head Girl!" her friend says happily, bounding forward and wrapping her arms around her friend. She stops and pulls back, her eyes looking out the door. Lily turns to see what she's looking at, and her eyebrows shoot up. Potter's followed her.

"What is it?" she asks formally.

"You're Head Girl," he says with a small smirk, apparently noticing the badge on the front of her robes for the first time. "That's fantastic, Evans."

"Glad you think so." she said, putting her hands on her hips, wondering if she should say something else. "Is Remus Head Boy?" _Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes..._

"Don't think so." he musses his hair, then catches the way she rolls her eyes at his habit and drops his hand. "I mean, he didn't tell me he was..."

"Prongs!" Sirius bounds up and tackles his best friend from behind. "Oh, Evans, Prewett. Lovely to see you." he gives the two of them a wink, then laughs loudly, pointing at the badge of Lily's chest. "Oh, this is just too perfect! This year's gonna be great."

James gives his friend a quick shove and drags him away from the girls' compartment, Sirius still babbling on and on about something Lily is confused by.

"What did he mean, 'This year's gonna be great,'?"

"Who knows," Alice shakes her head, rolling her eyes in the process. She has a small smile on her face. "No one's ever ready for the things the Marauders cook up. I'm sure it's nothing _too_ bad, though."

* * *

><p>James Potter was Head Boy.<p>

She still had to let it sink in. If it ever did.

_James Potter _was _Head Boy_.

"Lily?" Mary's hand waved in front of her face and she jumped slightly before looking down at her dinner. It must have been going cold... "You dazed out again."

"Sorry," she gave her friends a small smile, then lifted her fork to her mouth.

"We can't believe it, either." Alice says honestly.

"That's because it doesn't make sense."

"Hey, James is a good guy." Lyla talks through a mouthful of food and Alice's top lip rises in disgust. "He's changed a lot in the last year or so."

"No..." Mary shakes her head stubbornly, most likely for Lily's sake.

"Does't make sense." Lily repeats quietly, shaking her head slightly. "How am I supposed to work with him this year? Nothing's going to get done!"

"There must be some reason why Dumbledore chose to make him Head Boy." Lyla tries reasonably. "It'll all be fine."

"No, it won't." Lily turns her head the opposite way as she catches James' eye and he sends her a small smile. "You won't even believe what happened on the train." her three best friends lean forward to hear all about it. "So I was waiting with the Prefects, then _he_ walked through the door. Everyone thought it was a joke. I was positive he'd taken the badge from Remus or something, and the once he'd convinced us all and the fifth year girls had calmed down he thought it was a good idea to start off the meeting with his _own _ideas -"

"Were they absolutely ridiculous?" Alice seems a little humoured by the idea.

Lily bites her lip, frowning a tiny bit. "Um...no, actually. But that's not the point. He didn't even stop to think that I wanted to begin it all."

"Lily, you were dreading walking into that compartment." Lyla chuckles.

"He didn't know know that!" Lily hisses. This makes Lyla grin wider.

James Potter was Head Boy.

After dinner the two of them attend a short meeting with Dumbledore in the Headmaster's office. James thinka he is being polite, holding doors open on the way and waiting for her to enter rooms first, but Lily takes it to mean he feels she is hopeless and pathetic.

What Dumbledore has to say hardly helps her understand his choice for Head Boy, and on their way back to the Gryffindor Common Room, James stops. Lily keeps walking. She has no intention of speaking to James Potter without having to. She's in a really bad place; she is actually trying to convince herself that this is a dream. Because there is _no way_ that _James Potter_ could be Head Boy. That doesn't make sense at all.

"Evans,"

She sighs and turns to face him, expecting a cocky expression on his stupid face so she can snap with a clever remark. All the clever remarks she could think of slip out of her head when she sees his face though, and she wonders what on earth is happening.

James Potter looks...genuine?

"I want to talk to you for a second."

"About what?" asks Lily quickly, crossing her arms. Just because he _looks_ like he's not a conceited bastard doesn't mean it's still in there somewhere. Because it is. Of course it is.

"I want to start over with you. Right from the beginning." he smiles a little as he walks forward. "The idea came to me this morning...when I helped you with your bag on the train -"

"I remember." she doesn't like how close he's getting. She just realised how short she is compared to him, and she feels like she's losing power. "And I thanked you."

"But I thought...I shouldn't have acted like I did after the first time. I want you to forget about that."

"Six years is a lot to forget about, Potter." she says, a little bitterly.

"Can you try?"

"I don't think so." she makes to turn around, but he grabs her arm. She gives him a long, pleading look. "I just want to go to bed, Potter." after saying this, she bites her lip. It's obvious what's going to come next; some snide comment about him joining her...

It doesn't come.

Her eyebrows raise with disbelief. Perhaps he had changed...

"Are you sure you can't try? Please?"

There's a long moment where the two of them watch each other closely. In this time he realises the few freckles she had on her cheeks and nose have started to fade since third year - she hasn't allowed him to be this close to her since then. It's a shame; he liked them. Her eyes are exactly the same green though, looking up at him with an oddly confused expression that slowly melts away to thoughtfulness.

Lily realises for the first time that his eyes are hazel behind his glasses. Strange. She always thought that they were brown for some reason. And the bridge of his nose has a scar across it...from a Quidditch accident? Oh, there's one on his left eyebrow, too. Both of them are too small to notice from the distance she'd purposely put between them over the last few years.

She finally makes her desicion and answers him. "We'll see."

That will give her more time. More time to watch him, work with him and study him, to know if he really _has_ changed, grown up, if he really_ does_ want to do good this year and help her properly.

She'll see.

* * *

><p>Anyone watching would have thought James had Lily under the Imperious Curse. The two of them had ten minutes left of patrolling the corridors, but they didn't seem to be getting much done.<p>

Lily had her eyes closed and was laughing loudly at James' last remark as he tucked his hands in his pockets and walked beside her, watching her with a smirk from the corner of his eye.

She'd slowly started to get to know him over the last couple of months. To start with the duties the two of them had been alone while attending to had been uncomfortable and mostly silent, but now they could discuss a number of things and laugh and joke like they'd been friends since first year. There was a certain topic that hadn't been brought up during the year, though; James' feelings for Lily.

"Broom closet," Lily says once she's able to catch her breath. James is amazed, still, at how easily she seems to be able to talk to him without calling him a name she shouldn't have been able to even think of. Maybe he should have taken Remus' advice more seriously to begin with and backed off earlier. Something could have happened between them by now...maybe...

"You think we should check it out?" a mischevious glint comes into her eyes and her hand rests on the handle of the old wooden door.

"Huh?" James asks, wondering if he'd heard correctly. Surely she couldn't mean...

"We'll bust in and see if there's a couple inside." she says, grinning wider.

"Oh," he tries to smile as warmly as he can as he catches onto exactly what she's saying and stands behind her. She twists the handle within a second and throws the door open, leaning forward ready to catch someone in the act.

"Ah," she stands back and closes the door in front of her again. "Nothing. Oh well."

"Evans," James laughs and looks down at her, slightly in awe. "Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" she looks slightly confused and raises an eyebrow.

"I just never expected you to be the type to want to catch two people in a broom closet."

She shrugs and turns, walking back in the direction they'd been travelling a minute before. "Let's start heading back. Not long until I can go to bed." she yawns widely as she says it and crosses her arms over her chest. James follows a couple of steps behind, watching her hair brush against her robes over her shoulder blades.

It's been difficult this year, not acting on everything Lily said to make her uncomfortable like he'd done since third year. He also had to bite his tongue every time he had the sudden urge to ask her out. Like now. He didn't want to be hexed in the middle of a corridor this close to midnight and have to wait until the next morning to be found.

He still wasn't sure whether she was just talking to him like she was because he'd asked if she would at the start of the year. Sure, it had taken a few weeks for her to say a full sentence to him, but once she had conversation had come easily to the both of them.

"Evans," he calls after a minute or two, wanting to get to the bottom of this thought while it is still in his mind. "Can I ask you something?"

She stops and hesitates before turning around. Her face is unsure and slightly worried. "Yeah?" she asks timidly.

"Relax," he chuckles. "It's not that."

"What? Not what?" she asks, visibly relaxing, but acting as though she has no idea what he's talking about.

"You know what I mean." he rolls his eyes and takes the two steps between them, turning around so he's facing her. He leans against the pillar behind him and tries to act as though he's perfectly at ease. "I just wanna know...you're not..._trying_ to be nice to me, are you?"

"Huh?" she frowns up at him and cocks her head. "No, Potter...to be perfectly honest, I'm kind of enjoying spending time around you."

"Kind of?"

She laughs lightly. "I like being around you. Lately. You haven't given me a reason to be annoyed or hate you, and...well, really...I kind of think of you as a different person now. I don't know why, but I do. You just don't seem to be the same Potter as you were all those years before. It's like; you're Potter when you're with me, and you're _Potter_ when you're with the Marauders. When you're with me, your jokes are clean and worth laughing at and you don't really have anything that discriminative or offensive. You're worth listening to."

"I thought I should start acting more like Moony was telling me to now that I'm Head Boy." he rolls his eyes and grins down at Lily, who's watching him closely. He looks away and the two of them are silent for a while. "Can I be James while I'm around you?"

"James?" she repeats, then her face breaks out into a huge smile. "It sounds so weird hearing myself say that."

"Sounds weird hearing you say it, too." he straightens up. "Say it again."

She laughs loudly and turns around again. "C'mon, _James_. Let's get back to the common room."

"Coming, Evans."

She snorts, and once he's close enough, aims a kick at his ankles, making him stumble.

"James?" her voice is quiet again, like she's deciding whether she should continue with what's in her head.

"Yeah?" he asks just as quietly. There's a pause, and there seems to be a rining in the frozen, dead silent corridor.

"Do you still..." she snorts and shakes her head slightly. "Do you still have feelings for me? Or at least _say_ you do?"

Again, the two of them waited in silence. Lily looks away, feeling her neck and face heat up, but James' eyes focus on her completely, never looking away. He opens his mouth, but still doesn't speak for a few seconds.

When he finally does speak it is quiet. "No," he almost whispers. Lily looks back up at him, shocked and surprised. "No, I'm not going to walk around claiming to have feelings for you anymore."

"Oh," what is she supposed to say now? That wasn't the answer she'd been expecting. For the first time since James Potter has started asking her out, she felt she could have handled being told he fancied her. Perhaps he'd realised there was no possible way he could like her that much and grown out of his old habits as he'd matured this year. "Good," she finally says once more, giving him a tight smile that doesn't effect her large, green eyes.

James watches her eyes for a minute longer as those same stare back up into his. They'd never looked this _green _before. "Let's get back." he says loudly, as if the topic had never been brought up. He wants to get away from her gaze before she can realise exactly what he'd said.

His words were all true; he wasn't going to walk around telling people he loved her and asking her out...but that didn't mean he wasn't still hopelessly in love with her.

* * *

><p>"I don't know, Remus...it's weird."<p>

"You two seem to be getting along a whole lot better this year." Remus says as he sips his butterbeer."

"We _are_." Lily insists. She turns her gaze out the window at the snow as Remus looks over at her. "It's strange. He just...seems like a totally different person this year."

"He is," he agrees. "Sirius isn't too happy about it to be perfectly honest. Don't get me wrong, they're still best friends, but...Sirius kept an eye out for James for four years through a tough time for him. I don't think he wants to see James take a change like this for one certain reason."

Lily is uncomfortable with where this was going. She doesn't think she wants to inquire about what this 'reason' was. "I actually enjoy being around him." she says with a grin. "Nothing more than friends, of course, but I never thought I'd be able to tolerate him."

"So you won't miss him over the Christmas break?" he asks with a sarcastic smile.

Lily laughs. "I think I'll be able to handle the Christmas break. I'll just have to spend every second of this last week with him before I leave." she jokes. Remus laughs, too.

After ten minutes, Mary, Alice, Lyla, Scarlet, Frank Longbottom and the rest of the Marauders join them. The table orders more butterbeers for each of its occupants and they sit around laughing and joking as if they've been best friends since coming to Hogwarts.

Lily leaves early. She has to work on her Transfiguration essay...which is due tomorrow. The thought of it makes her want to cry. She isn't used to leaving things like this until the last minute, but this year she's been slacking off slightly...and Transfiguration always made her so grumpy she wanted to throw her wand and quill at the wall.

"Lily," the voice confuses her, because for some reason it doesn't sound right. She turns slowly, and can't help smiling a little when she sees who it is. Secretly, she'd been hoping he'd follow her.

"Lily?" she repeats, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, you're calling me James now...isn't it only fair?"

"I know what you mean about it sounding weird." she laughs lightly and pushes her hands deep inside her pockets.

"Why'd you rush off?"

"I have to finish my Transfiguration essay." she stick her tongue out in disgust, causing James to chuckle. "It's not funny! You're _good_ at Transfiguration! I've always had a teensy trouble with it..."

"Transfiguration's easy. What do you need help with?"

"No," she says, shaking her head. "No, I'm not going to get help from anyone. Especially not a Marauder. This is my work."

"You got help from Remus last year."

"This is different." she says, blushing because of how much he seemed to know.

"How? Because it's me?"

She gives him a long look, and he stares back at her blankly until she blinks.

"Yes." he answers for her. "Because it's me."

"James..."

"Imagine top marks in Transfiguration! I'll let you have all of the best parts out of mine."

She snorts and nudges him with her shoulder, again making her realise how tall he is compared to her - her shoulder digs into his chest. "Fine. But I'm not looking at yours at all. You can just help me with a couple of things I'm having trouble with. No top marks for me."

Half an hour later the two of them have left Hogsmeade behind and are sitting in front of the fire in the Prefect's common room. Everyone else is at Hogsmeade, so the Head Boy and Girl are left to take up all the space they need.

"No, here," James says, pointing to a certain section of her Transfiguration text book. "Read from the second line."

"Oh," she says, sounding a little surprised. "How did I look over that?"

"Idiot," James jokes quietly. Lily rolls her eyes.

Lily finished half as quick as she thought she would have, and the two of them lean back on their hands with their feet outstretched toward the fire, bickering and joking with small smiles on their faces.

They're interrupted by a tapping on the large window behind them. Lily jumps to her feet to fetch it, because it's not James' owl out there. Whatever it is must be for her.

The owl decides to sit inside out of the freezing wind as she reads what's been sent to her. James scratches its head as she tears the envolope open and begins to read silently. It's from her mother, she realises happily as soon as she sets her eyes on the handwriting.

_Our dearest Lily,_

_Just writing to check that you'll be able to get the time off school Petunia wrote you about. We don't know if something happened with your mail and your letter hasn't gotten to us yet, or if you've just been too busy to reply._

_We've no doubt that you're as happy for your sister and Vernon as we are. They're thinking to have the wedding in the spring. -_

What? A wedding? _Petunia's_ wedding? Had Lily missed a letter on her desk or something? She can't really wrap her head around the fact that Petunia's getting _married._ Especially since this letter sounds as though she should have already heard about it by now...

_Petunia told me that she's sent all of her bridesmaids pictures of the dresses she's picked for you, so I thought I would send you the colour. She's just picked it and left it with me. She and Vernon have gone out for lunch. I know how you feel about him Lily, and I agree with you on the most part, but he does make her happy, and she smiles a lot more than she has in a while._

_Anyway, I'm getting off track again. The colour swatch is in the envelope. Write back if you're able. And ASAP, please, we haven't heard from you in a couple of weeks._

_Love you, Darling,_

_Mum and Dad._

It is signed from the two of them, but Lily has a feeling it was written directly from her mother. This thought disappears from her mind as she goes over what is in the actual letter. The confusing, confusing words that she has to think extra hard over, because they don't seem to make any sense...

Oh.

_Petunia told me that she's sent all of her bridesmaids pictures of the dresses..._

It all comes crashing down on her at once, and she is so overwhelmed by the sadness and raw fury that fills her that she has to sink into the chair beside her at the small, round table under the window. Her hands and her knees are shaking and she feels angry tears sting her eyes, so she faces the opposite way from James. She doesn't want to let him see her so pathetic. She has to look tough in front of him. It's something that has just been drilled into her head since she was in third year and had quickly become one of the main targets for their less serious pranks.

Her mother thinks she would have known about Petunia and Vernon's engagement because she was told by her eldest daughter that all of the bridesmaids had recieved a letter. And, of course, Lily is a bridesmaid...

But Lily isn't one of Petunia's bridesmaids. Of course not. It was stupid of her mother to think so, but something that she knew her mother would do automatically. She'd been trying to hold on to the hope that one day her daughters would automatically be best friends again.

Lily realises that she had been, in a way, too. She might not get along with her sister at all most of the time, but deep down she still loved her, and she always thought her sister had, too. If she had ever imagined Tuney's wedding, she'd imagined herself beside her sister on her special day, smiling happily along with all of the other guests.

Apparently she cares a lot more for her sister than Petunia does for her...

She forgets about feeling pathetic and forgotten for a second and lets her anger take over for a bit. How dare Petunia? Lily was always the one to try to start conversation when there during the summer and Christmas holidays. Lily was always the one to go out of her way to ask her sister how she was going and what her year had been like. She'd just always thought that Petunia was being stubborn, not that she truly hated her...

The angry tears fall down her cheeks as she muses in her seat, her eyes unfocused on the snow now falling outside the window. After everything she'd tried with her sister, she didn't even get told about something so big in her life.

She looks down at the envelope with a piercing glare, as if she can send Petunia a hateful message from it. Or set the envelope on fire with her eyes, either way. Then she remembers that the colour sample for the bridesmaids dresses is inside it, so she picks it up and turns it upside-down, over her hand. A small, bright orange scrap falls into her palm and she looks at it in utter shock before snorting in fury and tossing it away.

Orange. Her sister had picked orange; the only colour she knew Lily would not wear because of the way it clashed terribly with her hair. Lily gets the feeling it is just to push a thicker wall in between her sister and the bridesmaids - it isn't even her favourite colour. Petunia had always loved purple. When they were little and discussed their weddings, Tuney's bridesmaids were always wearing purple...

What the hell is her problem?

She's shaking again and wants nothing more to grab her sister and try to rip her hair from her scalp at causing this in their family and sniffs loudly, before remembering she's not alone in the common room.

_It's okay,_ she tells herself, being reminded of James behind her. _It's not as if he's paying you any attention. Just control yourself, then get back to talking to him. _She wipes her eyes roughly and uses the ends of her hair to mop up the tears that have run under her chin. Hopefully he hasn't noticed she'd upset. No, he wouldn't have. Why would he?

"Lily," his voice is soft from in front of the fire where she was sitting a moment ago. She closes her eyes and hopes he doesn't bother getting an answer from her; she doesn't trust herself to speak clearly when she's this worked up.

He doesn't say anything else for a minute or two, and she's thankful. Hopefully he's gone back to looking through the text book in front of her. Transfiguration has always seemed to hold his attention more than she thought any school subject should...

"Lily?" Ah, crap. He's right behind her. How can someone that tall make no noise whatsoever when they don't want to be heard?

She bites her lip and wonders what she should do now. If he's been paying attention to her, he must know that she's been crying. Her shoulders have been shaking slightly for the last few minutes and she'd sniffed more times than she'd allowed herself to.

"Lily," his hand touches her shoulder, and she pulls away slightly. "Are you alright?" suddenly he's in front of her, watching her worriedly, his hazel eyes flicking a couple of times to the letter from her mother she's still clutching on her left hand.

"What is it?" he asks, pulling the other chair out and sitting across from her. He picks the little scrap of orange material up off the floor and places it beside her hand on the table. She takes a quick look at it and fresh tears begin to run down her face as she chokes on everything she could say in one sentence about her sister.

She _wants_ to cry to James. She _wants_ him to pat her on the back and tell her it's okay. She _wants _to look pathetic in front of him and have him try to comfort her.

Gosh, what the hell is _wrong _with her?

"My stupid sister," she says through her tears. As she does, she realises how unnattractive she must look and sound right now. Her words aren't coming out properly and her face is probably soaking wet and bright red to match her hair... "She got engaged and didn't even bother to tell me. She doesn't want me to be a bridesmaid. And she picked _orange _for the dresses so I wouldn't want to be one, either. She didn't tell my parents I wasn't in the wedding party, and to be perfectly honest, I don't even think I'm invited to the wedding. I don't even know if I want to go!"

"Lil," he sighs and pulls his chair closer to her own. For a second it looks like he is going to wrap an arm around her or something, but then he stays right where he is. "If she's causing you this much trouble, don't even worry about her. She's not worth it."

"Not worth it?" she repeats. She's back to her normal self all of a sudden and forgets the progress they've been making all year. It's James Potter in front of her, and he's being a stupid idiot. "James, she's my sister! How could she not be _worth it_?"

"Look at how she's got you!" he says, waving a hand towards her crying form. "Why would she want to hurt you like that?"

"I don't think she knows she does it, really," she snaps, standing from the table quickly. She takes a step away from the table and he stands up, too. "But you have no right to say something like that about her. She's still my sister, and I still love her...you don't know a thing about her!" Where is this all coming from? For some reason she just wants to yell at someone and kick them until everything's right again. If she could have it her way, Petunia would be standing in front of her instead of James. But then again...James is bigger and stronger than Petunia. If she really lost it, it might be better to take everything physical out on James. She'd imagined hitting him plenty of times.

"Don't know a thing about her?" he repeated her this time. "Lily, I've seen you get upset several times over the years about _something_ she's done." he hesitated for a second while Lily stared at him in confusion. She'd never opened up and talked to James before this year. She'd never even been his friend. How would he know anything that happened between her and her sister?

"I remember in first year, when you were sad because she wouldn't talk to you properly. I remember in second year, when she didn't send you a Christmas card, even though it was tradition to make each other one. I remember in forth year, the only time you didn't go back to your house for the Christmas holidays because in the summer previously she'd called you a freak. I remember you randomly phasing out a few times a day in fifth year because you felt like you'd lost your sister, and then you lost Snape...and last year you didn't mention her at all. That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship between two sisters to me."

"How the heck would you know all that?" she asks quietly. He doesn't reply, and her eyes narrow at him. "Fine. Don't worry about it. But she is my sister, Potter. And it does hurt." she turns from him quickly and takes a step in the direction of the door, but he grabs her arm and holds her where she is. She turns back around to swear at him or kick him, but his chest is right there and before she can think his arms wrap themselves around her and she's pulled into it. She has no choice but to stand against his sweater and let a few more tears run down her face.

"Don't Potter me, Lily. I waited too long to be James." he says quietly. She can feel his chin moving on the top of her head, and she doesn't know how to react. Her head's telling her to push him away, to kick him in the shin and ask what he thinks he's doing. But she doesn't want to. She's comfortable, and for the first time in a while feels content where she is; like she could spend all day in the position she was in.

"And I know those things because I've payed attention. In first and second year I thought I felt sorry for you because you were so tiny and looked so helpless. Because you spent all of your time with a Slytherin, yet your biggest problem was your sister not sending you a Christmas card because Christmas had even come. You were interesting for me to listen to. Plus, I used to sit next to you in Charms so I could look off your page and get some idea of what was going on."

Lily rolls her eyes against his sweater. She didn't really want to hear where he was going with this, but she didn't want to move, either. She was having a very difficult day...

"Then in third year I realised how perfect you were and started chasing you, as you know. Sorry about all those awkward situations, by the way. When you said you were staying at school for Christmas in fourth year, I stayed, too. It's the only year I ever have. Because I knew there would be less people around and I wanted to see if you'd act differently toward me. Remember when I dragged you under the mistletoe and you slapped me in the face?"

She is finally able to smile, and a small giggle escapes her lips as she remembers that very cold and eventful morning. "Sorry about that..."

"I just hate seeing you so open to what she has to say. I don't think it's right. You're always so strong, Lily. You never let anyone push you around - you sure didn't let us push you around for six years. And then there's your sister, who you hardly ever see, and anything she says or does can set you off straight away. It's kind of scary. I'm not used to seeing you like this. Yes, this is a big deal," he says before she can mention that her sister's wedding isn't small enough to be ignored. "But I think you should tell yourself what to do before letting her take over your emotions like that. If she doesn't want her sister as a bridesmaid at her wedding then fine, it's her loss. She's the one missing out."

"James..." she pulled back and put her hands on his chest to distance them a little more. "It's not that easy." she whispers, shaking her head a little with her eyes closed. When she opens them she looks straight up, into his own and freezes. The two of them stay perfectly still, and Lily feels both of their hearts speed up.

His right hand leaves her back to brush her hair away from her face, and she takes another step back so they're no longer touching, dropping her eyes to the ground. She knows _exactly_ why he cares so much to tell her what he thinks now. And that scares her.

"I have to go." she says without looking at him. She turns around and leaves the common room without collecting her books from the floor in front of the fireplace. All she takes with her is the letter from he mother.

James Potter had become the one person in the whole school she could act herself around since she and Severus had been best friends, but that was because he had assured her that he didn't have feelings for her anymore...

Wait. No, he hadn't. He's assured her that he wouldn't walk around _claiming to have _feelings for her anymore...

Crap. Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap. What had she been thinking? Getting close to James Potter was the stupidest thing she'd ever let herself do. And for what? What good had come out of it? Now she was running away from him again and she still only had her four best friends that had been around since year one.

"Lily!" Mary, Alice, Scarlet and Lyla are just making their way inside the Gryffindor common room when Lily turns into the corridor. The other three Marauders are walking closely behind them, laughing loudly with Frank Longbottom about something, but they stop when they see her approaching.

"What's up, Lil? You look stressed."

"Transfiguration," Lily lies, not making eye contact with Scarlet when she answers her. "I'm tired."

"You can't go to sleep now! Dinner's in an hour!" Sirius reminds her rather loudly.

"I'm not hungry." Lily marches straight up the stairs, ignoring the scattered groups around her and shuts the door to her empty dormitory. She falls down on her bed and huffs frustratedly.

Almost all year, she'd been having an alright time with James Potter. On some occasions, she would even admit that she'd had _fun_ with him. And now...well, she couldn't possibly keep hanging out with him if he still liked her.

"Ugh!" she pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around them. Everything had turned upside-down in less than a minute. How was she supposed to face patrolling with him? How was she supposed to hold meetings with him, or help out with their school duties, or sit next to him in class...

Unless...she could act like there was nothing wrong? She could act like she hadn't realised. She could just keep pretending and act like she had been all year...

"Lily?" someone knocks on the door, then Mary's head peeps through and she looks at her friend worriedly. "Are you okay?"

"Fine,"

"No, you're not." Mary shuts the door quietly behind her and walks inside. Lily sees her bag and the books she'd left in the Prefect's common room in her friend's arms. James must be back as well. "James said you left really quickly. He seemed bothered about something, too..."

Lily looks up at her friend sadly, and Mary leans forward. "What happened, Lily?"

"I got a letter from my mother. Petunia and Vernon are getting married, and my sister doesn't want me there. Mum thought I was a bridesmaid, though, so she sent me a material sample."

"What a bitch!" Mary spits. "I'm sorry, but I've had it up to here with her! She needs to get the knot out of her wand really quickly, or she'll have to deal with me. What is her problem?"

"Mary,"

"Wait! But why did James look so worried? What happened there?"

Lily doesn't answer. She just sighs.

"Merlin," Mary breaths. "It was something between _you two_, wasn't it? What happened? Did he kiss you? Was it good?"

"No, he didn't kiss me!" Lily shakes her head rapidly, her auburn hair flying wildly around her face. "I...I think he still likes me."

"You think?" Mary grins, then it falls off her face. "Oh...not good, huh? Lily, it's really obvious...he's always looking at you. I thought you two were getting closer, though. Why does it matter that much?"

"I don't _want _him to like me! I just want to be his friend! I don't want to be patrolling corridors with him and be too distracted by the thought that he likes me to be able to have a proper conversation with him!"

"What are you going to do?"

Lily struggles to think. What can she say to Mary that won't make her seem like an idiot? "I...I'm going to ignore it. I'm going to pretend I don't now."

"Do you think that will work?"

"What the hell else am I supposed to do, Mary?"

Mary's face turns a little hopeful. "You could give him a chance? It's _James,_ Lily! He's liked you forever! You know he'd treat you like a princess. Why would it be so bad?"

"It's _James_, Mary! He's liked me forever! No, he's _claimed_ to like me forever. Why would he? He's a Marauder. He has girls throwing themselves at me, and for some reason he hardly pays them any attention."

"And why do you think that is?"

"I know why it is." Lily gives her friend a dark look. "It's because he's a Marauder. They get whatever they want. And when I said no to him four years ago it became a competition. He doesn't want to seem like an idiot in front of the whole school. The only reason he likes me is because he's told himself he does so much. If I started going out with him it wouldn't take him long to realise I was just part of his game, and that there's better out there."

"I don't think that's true, Lily. I thought you were enjoying being around him lately?"

"I was...he acts different now. He's Head Boy. He _has_ to act different. But that doesn't change anything. He's still James Potter, and it will still never, ever happen." Lily looks down at the floor; she doesn't want to discuss this with her friend anymore.

Mary sighs. "Whatever you say, Lily. But I think you two would be great together. Honestly I do. And I feel sorry for him. Because I know he doesn't think of you as just a game. He likes you, Lily. And if you paid him as much attention as you do your school work you'd realise that. You're hurting him. You should at least realise that."

Lily doesn't say anything as Mary stands and leaves the room. She frowns stubbornly at the legs of Lyla's bed and wonders what to do next.

* * *

><p><strong>Hopefully the next chapter will be up in a week or less! Fingers crossed! :D<strong>

**Chlowie, xo**


	8. Seventh Year, Part 2

**Hey, everyone. This is the last chapter of my Lily and James story, and I'm kind of glad it's over because now I can move on to bigger stories that I've spent more time on.**

**I hope you like this chapter, even though it's a bit short.**

**Thank you to those who reviewed! :)**

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><p>"Are you going to Hogsmeade this weekend?"<p>

"I think so. Maybe. I should probably study instead..." Neither of them had brought up their afternoon in the Prefect's common room after their last Hogsmeade visit, and Lily hopes desperately that James won't say anything now.

"Lily, don't you think you could use a break? All you do is study. You deserve at least one day away from the castle."

"I don't want to fail." she says to the stone under her feet.

"Stop." he turns quickly and put his hands on her shoulders. "What's going on?"

"What?" for the first time that evening she looks up at him with her wide, green, almondy eyes.

"Why've you been so...distant?"

"Huh?"

"You've been distant for almost a month now. What's up?" she sees concern in his eyes, but tells herself it's an act.

"Nothing, I'm fine." she stands back and he drops his arms, and the two of them look at the ground in between them.

"Is this still about your sister?"

"No, it's not about Petunia. She sent me an owl the day after I wrote back to mum and told me that she wanted me to be a bridesmaid, and that she'd only just found my letter from before. And I can't say no to her, because it would upset our parents. Which means I'm going to have to...wear orange." she shudders, and James chuckles.

"So why are you upset?"

"I'm not, James." she says firmly. "I'm one hundred percent fine."

"Come to Hogsmeade this weekend."

She looks back up to him to give him a long look as she wonders what she should do. Being in Hogsmeade with him would most likely end disastrously. But being in Hogsmeade surrounded by all her friends...could be fun.

"Fine. I'll come to Hogsmeade."

He immediately relaxed and smiled. "But you have to promise to have fun, or else there's no point. Not more moody Lily."

"Moody Lily?"

"Just smile more, okay? And at least pretend to listen to my jokes. Your lack of laugh is making me feel bad."

"Sorry. I've had a bit on my mind..."

"What is it?"

"Nothing," she says too quickly. "It'll be fine. I'm fine."

He frowns down at her, but doesn't say anything else, then follows when she starts walking again.

Mary has now gotten Lyla to bother Lily about her situation. Alice and Scarlet are polite enough to stay out of it all, but Lyla considers James to be one of her best friends, and therefore thinks she will be able to talk Lily into it better than Mary had before her.

"Why won't you just give him a chance?"

"I have a choice in this, too!" Lily shoots back, dropping her voice when she hears how loud her frustration's made her. "It's not just him! It wouldn't work. I don't _want_ to be his girlfriend!"

"Lily, James wants you so badly. He has for years. And I know for a fact that he would be the only guy in the whole school that would make the relationship all about you. As soon as you said yes to him, your life would get a hundred times better. Haven't you noticed how much he's changed this year? It's been for you, Lily. Remus told him ages ago that there was no chance for the two of you if he kept acting like he had been the past few years."

Sirius, who had had the nerve to hold Lyla's hand all the way to the Three Broomsticks, takes a seat beside her now, obviously hearing the end of their conversation. He sits his Butterbeer in front of him and points his finger at Lily, who leans back. "That's true. You've ruined my best friend, and I don't want it to be for nothing. Give him a nice, wet snog. You'll see."

"Piss off, Black." Lily scowls as Remus, James and Peter open the pub's door and make their way to the bar.

"Why exactly do you not want to go out with him?" Lyla asks in a whisper, leaning over the table to put her face right in front of Lily's. "What is it about him that you don't like?"

Lily can't come up with an answer in time, and James slides into the booth to sit beside her. She doesn't look at Sirius, Mary or Lyla across from her for as long as she can handle. Twenty minutes later, while conversation is strong between Alice, Peter and Remus, Lily looks up to see that Sirius is drawing a love heart around herself and James with his fingers.

Lily slams her mug down onto the table in front of her and pushes Scarlet until she and Alice move off the bench in front of her, then storms to the door without looking back.

She doesn't go back to the castle. She makes her way to a tree from where she can see the Shrieking Shack and sits underneath it, leaning her head back against it and closing her eyes. Why can't they just leave her alone about it?

After a couple of minutes she opens her eyes and looks around, because she has the strong feeling that she's being watched. No one's around, so she frowns to herself and shakes her head.

"Stupid James," she sighs, rubbing her eyes with the tips of her fingers. School life was hard enough with classes and exams and...certain Slytherins. She doesn't need to make it more difficult by trying to think of excuses to stay away from him.

"What did I do?" a quiet voice asks.

She freezes, then pulls her hands away from her face. James is sitting, cross-legged, right in front of her with a blank look on his face.

"How the hell did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Appear out of no where."

"Marauder, remember?" he grins, but it doesn't work very well because she gives him a very long, annoyed look. He sighs. "Lily, why don't you just tell me what's up?"

"I don't want to." she pulls her knees to her chest and rests her chin on them.

"Is it about me?"

She nods silently.

"And is it about you?"

She nods again, her eyes sliding up to look at him.

"It's about us?" he asks, so softly most of his voice is a whisper.

She raises her head from her knees and stares intently at a yellow flower sprouting from a tuft of grass a few feet away.

"Lily,"

"Why didn't you tell me you still liked me?"

"I didn't _not_ tell you."

"James,"

"Is it really that bad, Lily? Do I _ever_ get a chance? Or am I just supposed to leave Hogwarts and pretend you didn't exist?" he asks. His voice gets louder and more agitated and Lily bites her lip. "All you ever say is no, Lily! Not _once_ have you ever given me a reason!"

"I had reasons." Lily said softly.

"You had reasons?" James repeats, just as softly.

She nods.

"What about now?"

She shrugs.

"Look, you don't have to ever say yes to me." he said. He fisted his hands, as if they were about to do something he didn't want them to. "But _please_ tell me why you won't. Just tell me. I can handle it."

He waits. And waits. And Lily wonders whether or not she should tell him what she thinks, or if she should just keep him waiting until they have to get back to the castle. Finally she opens her mouth, and, staring at the yellow flower, tells him what's inside her head.

"I just never understood why you liked me. Obviously it's not like what you let on. You can't _just _like me for no reason whatsoever. You always had those stunning girls all over you, and you still asked me out. So the only reason I can come up with is because you wanted to prove you could get anything you wanted. It's the only reason that makes sense. Because I'm just Lily and I shouldn't have anyone like James Potter, because most people think that doesn't make sense."

"So it's not because you still think I'm an arrogant arsehole?" for some strange reason he is grinning. Lily frowns up at him, and he sighs again and moves to sit beside her. "Lily, not once did I ask you out just because I wanted to prove to the rest of the school that I could get whatever I wanted to. I wouldn't have done that. I'm not that much of a jerk. And I'm not patient enough to chase after you all these years for a stupid reason like that."

Lily rolls her eyes, even though he can't see, and sniffs. She realises she is crying and raises her left hand to her eye quickly to get rid of her tears.

"Hey," he catches her hand and wraps his arm around her shoulders. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset."

"I'm just confused." she says softly. "I don't know why anyone would bother with me." she doesn't pull her hand away, and James feels his heart go crazy and butterflies attack each other in his stomach. He rests their hands in his lap and pulls her into his side tighter.

"Because," he starts matter-of-factly. "You're gorgeous. And brilliant. And you have the funniest facial expressions while you're in class. And when you're yelling at me." he chuckles softly. "I've missed that."

"So...if we were...together. You wouldn't get sick of me straight away and move on to prettier girls in our year?" she says, mentally swearing at herself as soon as the words are out of her mouth.

It takes a couple of seconds for James to reply, because he could have _sworn_ she just said, in some way or another, that she was considering the two of them as a couple. "Lily, there _aren't_ any prettier girls...in the whole of Hogwarts. And I'm not just saying that," he says as she starts pulling away from him. "But no, I wouldn't get sick of you and move on to anyone else. At all. No way. Not ever."

"I think I want to believe you." she turns her head to look at him with her wide, watery eyes. "But it's difficult."

"We could try?" he asks hopefully. There's a long moment where all they do is watch each other, challenging the other to break the silence and speak first. Neither of them do, though, because James leans down and kisses her, so softly, then pulls away, taking his arm from around her as he does. He looks straight ahead and scolds himself, because he shouldn't have done that.

He wonders if she knows how nervous he is right now. He wonders if her heart is beating anywhere near as fast as his own is. He wonders if she usually smells that delicious up close.

Lily's thumb rubs his hand that's still and he looks down at them, then back up at her, and she's giving him a wide, confused look.

"I'm sorry."

She shakes her head. "Ask me."

"Ask you what?"

She waits expectantly.

"Do...do you want to go out with me, Lily?"

She nods quickly. "Yes. I do."

He smiles wider than he thinks he ever has before and grabs her hair and kisses her again, and this time she kisses him back.

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><p><strong>Okay, so hopefully that was an alright ending to this story!<strong>

**I have another story that I've been working on that should be up within the next month. It's a Disney one this time! Yay! So if you like Disney, I'd love it if you'd check it out. It'll mostly be focusing on characters from the Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Tangled and Beauty and the Beast.**

**Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to read this! Hope to hear from you again soon!**

**Chlowie, xo**


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